


To Follow a Wisp

by GratiaAeternum



Category: VIXX
Genre: AnimalFaeJaehwan, CatSidheTaekwoon, Eventual Hyuken, FaerieHongbin, FantasyAU, IrishFolkLoreAU, M/M, MermanWonsik, maybe Chabean later on???, wontaek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-05-13 20:39:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5716330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GratiaAeternum/pseuds/GratiaAeternum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Han Sanghyuk is the only son and heir of a rich family in Ireland. His whole life he has been shadowed from the outside world, from Gaelic traditions and stories alike. Then he is given a present, one he can only just touch but not question, and is suddenly led to a new world full of mysteries and creatures he has never seen nor heard of before. And that's just the beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, so this is my first time writing in present tense so I hope it's not too bad! I just thought I should try it and see how it goes.
> 
> Warning: slow build for a few chapters. Sorry, but itll pick up pretty well in chapter four or so. And I have three chapters already written and will keep writing when I can so my updates will hopefully stay on track^^
> 
> This will be a gradually posted fic that will probably be updated every two weeks wth how hectic my schedule is with school. But my rule of thumb is to not have a chapter below 3k words so I hope each chapter won't be too short.

Light spills into the room as fingers slide over the ivory keys, shining with prestige. Sanghyuk sighs as he catches a glimpse of greenery and lush fields through a tall window before he is drawn back to the task at hand. With reluctance he returns to playing the melodious but earthly tune that is before him, the music captured in black ink, just waiting to be read and played, always at the convenience of others. And at the moment Sanghyuk feels much like the music, never having a say in his life, always waiting for one to play him as they see fit.  
  
So when the oak doors that loom over the expanse of the room open and he hears the telltale sign of the sharp clicks of polished boots, Sanghyuk looks up to see his mother, in all her enhanced beauty, smiling at him. Her lips are a dark red, a stark contrast to her almost perfectly white teeth, proving her high class with how she has the privilege of oral hygiene.  
  
"Ah, my wonderful boy," her sickly sweet voice bellows in the otherwise quiet room, the piano long abandoned upon her arrival. "I am so glad to inform you that it is indeed time."  
  
He doesn’t have to even ask what she means by that. He already knows. And as he feels perfectly polished and sharp nails dig into his shoulder through the thick cotton of his blouse, Sanghyuk refrains from jerking away, and instead nods his head in understanding, exactly what his mother wants. She smiles and the doll-like resemblance sickens the young man, but he feels his own lips turning up at the corners, eyes crinkling in the echo of joy, but of course he knows that isn't the case. In all honesty he hasn’t been happy since he was a child, carefree and able to wander the great halls of the stone castle his family inhabits, gazing in wonder at mesmerizing pictures and statues of all sorts, and always being drawn to the servant's quarters, especially the kitchen, where he could watch the cooks for hours on end, creating dishes and sneaking him bits of sweets when the patrolling guards weren't nearby.  
  
But now he was only a shell of that boy from so long ago, having been _whipped into shape_ as his father put it. He was apparently too softhearted and naïve for his future role as heir of the Han family here in Ireland. So he was forced with lessons upon lessons of studies and proper etiquette, courses in languages he would probably never use, and sessions of musical "enlightenment”. And after ten years of the grueling work ethics he was suddenly told that he would be free of it all once he was of age. Free to prepare for his upcoming public announcement of taking over the family business of cattle farming and housing management in the lands. He would be known as the new Lord Han and be required to take taxes of the residents of his estate, having to be harsh and unsympathetic for the role and his father made sure that concept was stuck in his head since the very young age of eight. And that night where everything was supposed to be "given" to him was this very evening.  
  
"Dear . . . Sanghyuk. Han Sanghyuk, are you _listening_ to me?" His mother's sharp voice jolts his wandering thoughts, and Sanghyuk quickly nods in agreement to whatever she has inquired. She huffs indignantly and proceeds to turn to one of the maids behind her. "Help him prepare and dress for this evening. I expect him to be ready by no later than eight and standing outside the Great Hall entrance at eight-thirty exactly. Do you understand?"  
  
The maid bows her head and remains in the position as Sanghyuk's mother clicks her tongue and makes her way out of the room, long dress skirt dragging behind her in deep shades of greens with golden trims. And as the last of the tail disappears from their view, the same maid who was given orders makes her way over to Sanghyuk and quietly asks him to follow her. Which he does, of course, never like his parents or the rude guests that always treat the servants with distaste clear in their actions.  
  
He walks down the halls while looking at the surrounding scenery. No matter how many times he observes the swirling colors and Gaelic runes carved into the stone and upholstery, he can never seem to get enough of the stories that unfold, made from centuries of history and folktales that have been passed down since probably the beginning. His footsteps echo across the polished stone floors with his heavy boots, the maid's flimsy leather slippers almost making no coherent sound, as they were designed for. No one wanted to hear the constant pestering taps as the servants bustled about.  
  
They were almost to the stairs that led to his chambers when the wonderful smell of baking bread and roasted meat catches Sanghyuk's senses and holds on until the young man feels his feet move towards a room not a few steps away. The kitchen is packed with cooks and servants of all sorts, bustling with life as food is prepared and put away and cakes are iced as fresh mead is rolled through the rounded doorways in large wooden barrels. But what catches the young Lord's attention is the peculiar servant that is currently picking through a huge basket of grains, hair matted and dirty under a woolen but holey toboggan and fingers caked in dust and grass as surprisingly nimble fingers pick through the grain for any stray pebbles or weeds.  
  
His face is streaked in questionable substances, but it is easy to see the small smile he gives as some of the cooks start up a song, the soft tunes soothing to the ear as old Gaelic tales are expertly woven into sweet lyrics. And as Sanghyuk observes, the young man who couldn’t be much older than himself opens his mouth and out spills the richest timber he has ever heard. It is as dark as honey and the deep as life itself and causes a heat to fill the pits of Sanghyuk's stomach.  
  
He feels his breath hitch as he continues to listen until one of the fellow servants elbow the boy and the grains tumble to the stone floor as his frail body jolts violently at the action. The hatted servant receives many glares and murmurs soon flow through the room as the kitchen pauses for just a minute, taking in the pathetic figure sprawled on the ground, and then, as if nothing had ever happened, everyone goes back to work. Sanghyuk frowns, wanting to go help the other, but at that moment timid hands are placed on his elbow as the previous maid that had been leading him practically begs him to move along. And Sanghyuk complies because he knows the harsh punishment given to those who do not listen to his parent's orders. But he can't help but think back to the boy, well man, as he walks up the sturdy stairs to his room.  
  
Sanghyuk had first seen him as a young lad, no older than six. He had been playing in the beautiful gardens when a flash of auburn and white had collided into him, and he had looked down to see a small stoat pup on his chest. The poor thing had been scared half to death and all young Sanghyuk had wanted to do was cuddle it close and tell it that everything was going to be alright. But of course it hadn't. Because in that next moment a small group of men had arrived, bows and hunting knives in hand as they spotted Sanghyuk with the pup. Sanghyuk's father had been with them, and he was also the one to wrench the defenseless animal from his clasp as the boy had cried and begged his father to let it free.  
  
But of course he wasn’t listened to and Sanghyuk had watched the pup being taken away to the back of the gardens, towards the kitchen and he just knew what was about to happen to the poor creature. He still remembers the frantic look his father had acquired when taking away the pup and how he kept darting his eyes around, and all the young boy did was wail. Then the next day he was forced inside, and has been inside ever since, only to see a new recruitment to the servant's area, a young boy about his age, a ghastly hat shoved on his head, far too big and far too thick for the summer heat. But he had never complained, and when Sanghyuk asked his parents where the boy had come from, he was given the sharp answer of "he was found wandering the paths during the hunt, abandoned and alone," and was given explicit orders to never touch nor speak to the worthless peasant.  
  
So he didn’t talk nor touch the boy, but he did in fact make multiple attempts at playing with him, helping him scrub the vegetables for dinner. But he was always pushed away by angry cooks, and would watch as guards or other servants would backhand the servant boy as young Sanghyuk was taken to his room, neck straining as he watched the helpless boy struggle to his feet and scurry away, not even minding his most certainly throbbing cheeks. From then on, Sanghyuk never initiated any other interactions.  
  
Now, Sanghyuk is just content on watching the other. Sometimes he will sneak down the stairs outside his room and sneak off to the servant's chambers to find that special servant in his designated housing, which just so happens to also be used as the dog's pen. He still doesn’t quite understand why even the servants treat him as scum, but he never asks about it in fear of what will happen to said servant boy. He seems to get into enough trouble as it is.  
  
Those times that he sneaks off he will find himself watching as the hatted servant sings a hauntingly enrapturing melody, the unknown language causing chills of goosebumps across Sanghyuk's flesh, and the sight always manages to soothe the Young Lord's troubles. He also noticed that that the boy never once has taken his hat off, and although it makes Sanghyuk curious as to why, he refrains from meddling further than he already has.  
  
"Sir, we must get you ready for Mistress and Lord Han." The voice, trembling in uncertainty, raises Sanghyuk from his stupor and the Young Lord shakes his head as he smiles softly and agrees. They go to his washing room and he is given a thorough bath, body scrubbed and dried immediately afterwards. Then he is dressed and his hair is combed to where it lays perfectly across his forehead, black tendrils that are soft to the touch and silky smooth. He sighs as he takes in his appearance in the large mirror that is just opposite of his bed, the reflective glass seeming to go on forever as it covers half of a towering wall.  
  
And of course the first thing his eyes stray to is the peculiar scar across the expanse of his ribs, trailing from under his left arm to the very tip of his right hip bone, only about an inch thick and just a slight shade lighter than his already pale skin. His parents had told him that he had been in a serious accident when very young, being just a babe. Apparently there had been an alarming outbreak of fire in the old kitchen, having flames that had reached even the tops of the tall halls and Sanghyuk had been there, in the midst of it all, until his father had snatched him up just as a stray flame licked at his tender skin, leaving the haggard scar that was there to this day. It always reminds Sanghyuk of what could have been. That he could have escaped all of this, the responsibilities and the inheritance, if he had just been burned properly that day, just enough to pull him from the regretful future he was currently living out, basically dead to the world.  
  
That reminds him. There were supposed to be fire dancers tonight.  
  
"Elaina," he murmurs softly.  
  
The maid who had been rubbing down the tails of his coat suddenly stops at the sound of her name and looks up into Sanghyuk's eyes. And then she promptly turns away and flushes as she stammers out, "Yes, my Lord?"  
  
His eyebrows furrow at the title, but he supposes he must become comfortable with it at some point, so he lets it slide. For now, he wants to know details. "Are the fire dancers coming tonight?"  
  
For a moment Elaina bites at her lips as she thinks, and then there's a small nod and she waits for more. But that is all he wants to know, so he waves his hand and she hastily gets back to work, tucking his cream colored blouse into leather trousers and bending down to polish new dark brown boots, soft but sturdy. Just how he likes them.  
  
And just like that, he is ready to go. The clock reads seven-fifty, and Sanghyuk excuses himself as he tells the maid that he is thankful of her services before he is off once again. This time to the Great Hall that leads to the ball room. When he peeks his head in he sees hues of gold like amber and dark crimsons that are as deep and rich as blood itself, and he sees a commotion of servants moving about, placing prepared foods here and there and bringing in ornate decorations that will most definitely catch anyone's eye. And then he sees his parents, all done up in their best outfits much like himself, and his father is the one to spot him and call him over. Which he does immediately.  
  
But his gaze catches on a familiar tuft of unruly curls locks under a shabby cap, and Sanghyuk slows momentarily to watch as the servant boy hefts loads of mead into the room, placing the barrels onto oak tables that hold the immense weight quite easily, making the boy seem even weaker as his arms struggle to not fail him. Then his vision is obscured as a bearded and very familiar face covers his view. His father is looking as stern as ever, except this time there is the unmistakable crinkle at the corners of his eyes as he takes in Sanghyuk with his freshly pressed clothes and handsome features. It is a look the Young Lord had not seen in many years.  
  
"Oh, my son, look how fitting you are. Make sure to make me proud. You're not only representing yourself tonight, but the whole Han family. Don’t make any mistakes, my son." His deep timber does nothing to relax or soothe Sanghyuk.  
  
Sanghyuk is about to respond when suddenly a herd of men come flowing in the room, large cases in hand. And those soon reveal violins and fifes, carved from the finest woods. And the musicians huddle about the great Lord Han, and the soon-to-be Lord Han. The sheer amount of people disturb the young man; it is clear by the nervous twitch of his hands. And his father isn't unaware of the fact.  
  
"Sanghyuk, son, go to the study chambers until it is time. I will have a maid come and retrieve you when necessary."  
  
Sanghyuk nods mutely and proceeds out of the room, head clouded from anxiety. He isn't used to so many people at once, only ever if they were servants, and even then they were ones he had known for all of his life.  
  
He is so engrossed in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice a figure coming into the room as he walks out until it is too late. There is a sickening crack and then shards of glass spew about as a body hits the ground before him, thumping harshly with the cold, hard ground. Sanghyuk only sees the top of a dirty hat before he acts, hands shaking as he crouches down to see the servant boy. His eyes are clenched tight in pain and when Sanghyuk looks down he sees a small blossom of red from beneath a hand braced against the stone floor. Pale, dirty skin is marred red as the hand twitches and Sanghyuk almost reaches out until a rough grip stops him, halting his movements as he is only centimeters from touching those filthy but enticing digits.  
  
He looks up to see his father looming over him, face set with an expression Sanghyuk has never witnessed before as he is hauled to his feet. His father clicks his tongue at the scene below them and snaps his fingers before two maids come bustling over, skittish but ready to please. His father instructs them with simple duties.  
  
"You two, clean this disgrace properly and deal with the mess. I expect him to be ready for what is needed in time. Now get to it," he says with a flash of his hand, multiple rings sparkling in the natural light that gleams through the high windows of the Great Hall.  
  
The maids lean over and, none too gently, pull up the servant boy. Sanghyuk watches as ale drips down the rags that serve as clothes and notices the shaking figure of the young man. He doesn’t look up, but the Young Lord can clearly see the soft tremble of his thick lips as he is dragged down the hall at a fast pace, pushed along when he doesn’t move quick enough for the maids' tastes.  
  
His father sighs once they are alone. And Sanghyuk feels his face heat up as he avoids eye contact. "Sanghyuk, how many times do I have to tell you, no associating with the peasants. Especially that boy, do you understand me?"  
  
"Yes, father. Of course, father."  
  
The older man nods. "Good. Now go to the study and do not come out until called upon. Now, off with you."  
  
As Sanghyuk hustles out of the hall his father's voice booms across the wide halls. "And I expect you to be on your best behavior!"  
  
Of course there is no _you'll do fine_ , or _just try your best_. Because that's not how it works in the Han family. Everything has to be perfect. From the appearance to the smallest details such as how to pronounce words. There is never room for error.  
  
Sighing, Sanghyuk walks to the study and plops down on an inviting and plush love seat, the golden swirls in the crimson velvet reminding him of the ball room, where his future is only a few halls away. It is unsettling to think about. So he doesn’t think about it. Instead, his thoughts are overrun by the peculiar servant boy and he winces as he sees the scene from only minutes before replay in his mind. The shards of glass and the blossoming of red beneath dirtied and worked fingers. And surprisingly it only ceases to make him even more depressed. He had wanted so badly just to reach out and grasp onto that uninjured hand, to pull the servant up and wipe away the tears he knew had been there even if he hadn't seen them directly.  
  
He is suddenly torn from his thoughts as the doors to the study open and in walk a handful of maids and their most prestigious butler, Angus. Sanghyuk watches as Angus makes his way over and motions to the door, to which Sanghyuk reluctantly stands up to go through. He follows the maids and Angus until he arrives at the tall gateway that leads to the ball room, the Great Hall looking almost ethereal with all the candles lit and the midday light spilling through the now partially open windows. 

 

Sanghyuk's mouth feels dry and his throat tight as he sees his mother, in the same dress as before but this time with dozens of glimmering jewels decorating the seams and laying over her flawless ivory skin. She gives a tight smile, one that warns him of his duties and responsibilities once inside the ballroom, and he closes his eyes momentarily to take a deep breath before opening them, a smile now plastered on his face as he takes his mother's offered arm and looks as the ornate door, carved with various runes and lined in gold, opens and reveals his fate.  
  
The room is even more dazzling than from when he was inhabiting it not too long ago, the musicians playing a soft medley that does nothing to placate the fierce tension that is building by the second. He sees many who he doesn’t even know by name, only recognizing a few faces here and there as all eyes are on him, on his every movement as he is led by his mother. Her arm is the only thing keeping his body from crumbling to the ground as he nervously looks around to examine anything but what he knows he is moving towards. But it is, of course, of no use.  
  
His father is standing in the middle of the room, frame tall and proudly held as he stands beside a large box covered in black silk, their family crest sewn in with golden thread over a large expanse of the fine material. It's large enough to fit a horse in, and he hopes dearly that he isn't going to be given yet another exotic pet. Last year he had received a tiger, and the poor thing had been so scared. And when it had lashed out at him once, even though it was Sanghyuk's fault for stepping too close, the animal had immediately been slaughtered by surrounding guards. The memory still haunts him, and he almost bites his lips, a terribly nervous habit, before he catches himself. Lords do not do such horrid acts.  
  
So he holds his head high as he makes his way over to his father and the mysterious present. Once he arrives, after seemingly long hours when in fact it had not yet even been a minute, Sanghyuk releases his mother's arm as he stands before his father, Lord Han.  
  
The older man smiles, and the few wrinkles his face held scrunched handsomely even as his eyes hold a warning to not mess anything up. He then turns to the surrounding crowd that had gathered even closer in the passing moments, and grinned widely. "Ladies, Gentlemen. I would like to welcome you all with great thanks for being here on such a special night." He places a heavy hand on Sanghyuk's shoulder, and the younger fights the urge to shake it off. "This, as you all must know by now, is my one and only son. Han Sanghyuk."  
  
There's a murmur through the crowd before Lord Han waves off the banter. His eyes are now sparkling with a new kind of mirth, and Sanghyuk just wants to leave, but he doesn’t. Because that would show weakness, and faults were unacceptable.  
  
"And as you also must know, this special night is indeed the evening my son will become a man. He will take on the duties of this estate and soon be the next Lord Han." Loud cheers are heard as his father pauses for just a beat, expression smug. He knows he has all the attention now. "And as the soon to be Lord, I suppose he needs a method of distraction to relax with. So I thought over it, and what better gift than a thing to call his own? To use as he sees fit and actually make use of such a lowly . . . creature."  
  
Everyone is on the tips of their toes, and Sanghyuk knows what is to come next, stomach churning at the thought. But he never expects the sheer tumble of emotion his body is dealt with as his father places a burly hand on the silken sheets, and with a flourish, the sheer material slips onto the polished grounds and a large cage is revealed. But that isn't what causes Sanghyuk's heart to skip or his breath to hitch.  
  
No, what causes that is the "creature" currently inside the iron bars, kneeling and shivering violently. The servant boy looks up to Sanghyuk and for just a moment Sanghyuk catches a glimpse of freshly clean features, pale skin, and fearful eyes before cheers erupt and the room is taken over by music and hollers as ale and mead are passed around to all. But all Sanghyuk can do is continue to stare at his _gift_ , the servant now visibly shaking in his nice new clothing, the signature crimson and gold of the family crest acting like a beacon as people congratulate and lay heavy pats upon the young Lord’s shoulders. The servant is still wearing a hat, but this time it's a silken garment that is both beautiful and agitating to Sanghyuk. What is under that hat that is so horrible as to be needed covered?  
  
And then his father is there, once again obscuring his view of the servant, _his_ servant now. And the notion is still unbelievable as a hand is placed on his shoulder, grip tight as he looks up into steely eyes. Lord Han's gaze is demanding and cold as he waits a moment before speaking. And the next words cause a shiver to go down Sanghyuk's spine.  


"This thing is your servant now. Do with him what you please. But never, and I repeat, _never_ , take off his hat nor the band wrapped around his torso. Or there will be severe consequences."  
  
Sanghyuk nods mutely and winces slightly as the grip on his shoulder tightens. His father is relentless. "Now," he smiles. "Do what you like with the peasant and enjoy yourself."


	2. Chapter II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time, he finds himself laughing and feeling happy. And he thinks he may have just found his first, and hopefully long-term, friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided that on ao3 I will just literally post as I write instead of waiting for a week or two^^ this will be the place I post first before I wait for other sites^-^

Sanghyuk awakes to the soft brush of fingers over his arm, the rough pads catching slightly on his skin. His eyes open slowly and he blearily looks over to be met with the servant, his face a lot closer than expected. His large nose is tipped down as thick lashes shadow high cheekbones, brushing softly against the pale skin. 

 

He doesn’t look at Sanghyuk even as the Young Lord stretches and sits up, suddenly hyper aware of his near nakedness in his long night shirt and nothing else. It brings a heat to his cheeks and he bites his lips as he looks around for his usually folded clothes for the day, but frowns as he sees only a clean dresser, top bare.  
  
He moves to stand, but suddenly crashes back to the bed as something soft and slightly moist rubs across the bare flesh of his thighs, the skin tingling at the pleasant sensation. And as Sanghyuk looks down he sees the servant very close to his legs, eyes wide as his lips remain parted, looking up at Sanghyuk in question for a moment before averting his gaze like a good servant always does. 

 

It's then that he realizes that what he felt was in fact those plush lips on his skin, and he flushes as he carefully twists away from the young man between his still parted legs, not wanting to create any more unnecessary contact.  
  
As he stands, properly this time, the servant automatically leans down and kisses his feet, right over the slender toes and they wiggle a bit, much to Sanghyuk's chagrin. The Young Lord clears his throat and looks in the distance at what seems to be a very intriguing spot on the wall as he feels his face redden even further. 

 

He had never been kissed in any way, not even by his own mother, and although it scares him he can't help but like the feeling of the soft lips against his lonesome self. It makes him feel warm, warm and wanted.  
  
But also very surprised as he thinks back to how the young man before him had acted the previous night, the night he became the supposed property of Han Sanghyuk. The thought still makes his skin crawl unpleasantly, but that isn't why he is surprised by the morning's events. 

 

It's because not long ago, in that very room the night prior, he had watched as the servant had stepped in his room timidly, immediately waiting for orders. And Sanghyuk had made the mistake of touching the soft tendrils of russet auburn hair that were just barely escaping the silken hat. The reaction had been immediate, the servant jerking away and almost falling as he had frantically stumbled away.  
  
When Sanghyuk had tried to apologize, the words on the tip of his tongue, laying heavy, he had refrained and instead told the servant it was time for bed. And had watched as shaky fingers helped him undress and pull over the same nightshirt he was currently wearing. He doesn't know why he hadn't felt self-conscious back then, only now feeling the heat travel up his cheeks.  
  
Shaking himself to get his thoughts together, Sanghyuk moves over to the wide iron table pressed against the far side of the room, facing the door. It is already covered in food, still steaming and smelling absolutely delicious. The sight makes his mouth salivate and he hums happily as he sits and proceeds to stuff his face, meat being swallowed down by dark wine and thick bread being torn into. He can never deny his morning appetite. Unless a loud noise suddenly interrupts, that is.  
  
Looking over towards the source of the ghastly growl, Sanghyuk is met with wide eyes and an envious stare. The servant looks ravenous, and it is then that Sanghyuk notices just how skinny he is under the same clothes from the initiation ceremony. 

 

The tight black blouse is pulled taught over the thinnest frame he has ever seen, and the crimson and gold jacket seems to swallow him, even with his slightly broad shoulders. It is a pathetic sight to see the servant having to practically beg with his eyes when he obviously thinks he is hiding his reaction very well apart from the growl.  
  
Sanghyuk clears his throat. "Um, would you . . . like some?" He bites his lip as he waits for an answer. He hopes this boy isn't like those other servants who are not afraid to tattle on every detail of his life to his parents. 

 

He once had offered a pregnant maid some bread many years ago, and the poor young maiden had told his parents his actions and although Sanghyuk was indeed chastened, he had watched as the maid had been thrown out on the streets, his parents saying she had tempted him. They will do anything to keep their name clean, and he does not want to see this boy ending up the same way.  
  
So he is pleasantly surprised as the figure, still kneeling on the floor, crawls over to him and sits right beside his legs, head tipping back and mouth parting. His gaze is still averted, and his body gives a slight tremor. In fear or anticipation, Sanghyuk doe so not know, but he hesitantly reaches out to grasp the slender chin and closes the servant's gaping mouth. To which the boy looks up in confusion and possibly dejection as he makes to crawl away. But Sanghyuk isn't letting that happen. Grabbing ahold of the servant's shirt collar, he gently tugs until the young man is following him and then is promptly deposited in the seat beside his own, expression frazzled.  
  
When the servant makes no other move, Sanghyuk urges him with a wave of his hand over the mass amount of food before them. He even takes a piece of rabbit, dripping in juices and fat, and holds it out as one would present feed to cattle. But it seems to elicit a response as he watches a pale hand reach out to take the meat and then hungry lips and surprisingly sharp teeth are devouring the food within moments. 

 

Once done he waits for more and Sanghyuk only fills his own plate with heaps of meat, slices of roasted rabbit and a huge turkey leg, along with a few greens and a good chunk of the bread loaf, and places the plate in front of the servant.   


The young man's eyes are wide as he takes it all in, lips covered in a thin layer of grease from the rabbit, but he soon licks that up as he reaches for the food and begins to stuff his face without hindrance. It makes Sanghyuk wonder when the last time he had eaten was, or what he had eaten for that matter. 

 

Because it seems like everything before him is new and he sees a faint glimmer in those dark eyes that resembles something Sanghyuk hasn't seen in quite awhile. It's a light that just screams joy and contentment.  
  
Without his consent, Sanghyuk feels his lips twitch and then he's grinning, actually smiling wide as he watches the servant eat for what seems like hours. And it may very well have been that long. 

 

When the young man is finished, only bones and crumbs left on the platter along with the small masses of greens, he notices Sanghyuk's stare and sheepishly smiles back, mouth and chin covered in grease and eyes crinkling slightly.  
  
He is adorable and Sanghyuk can't help but want to coo, to just call him over and hold him close.  


It’s then that he realizes something. He doesn't even know his name.   
  


"Ah, I'm sorry to ask this. But may I know what your name is?" Sanghyuk inquires.  
  
The servant blinks owlishly before answering, plush lips parting and Sanghyuk's heart begins to race. Because he will finally be able to hear this boy's lovely voice.  
  
"My name is Jaehwan . . . Lee Jaehwan," he says, so softly Sanghyuk almost doesn't realize he has spoken. But he had and the pleasant timber washes over the Young Lord like a breeze as he feels another smile coming along.  
  
"Lee Jaehwan . . . " He tests the name out on his tongue, rolling the words around as he contemplates. He really likes the name. It's fitting for such a beauty and he finds that same smile lurking on the corners of his lips, tugging them a bit. 

 

"I like it. But—" he watches as the servant flinches a bit and quickly continues, "do you mind if I call you Jaehwan?"  
  
Jaehwan's mouth is agape. But he quickly pulls his demeanor back together as he nods furiously, hat almost falling off with the intensity. He looks almost giddy and it makes Sanghyuk happy. It's like he has finally found an acquaintance, and maybe he has for the first time in his life.  


The rest of the morning flies by, with Sanghyuk just watching as Jaehwan gathers his clothes for that day and cleans up the dishes from breakfast, making sure to wipe his mouth and hands clean before leaving the room. He is gone for a bit longer than expected, but that isn't what causes Sanghyuk to stress. It's the loud crash from below his room, obviously from the kitchen. He hears yelling and then the stomping of feet.   


Just when he is about to go see what the problem was, worry for Jaehwan fresh in his mind, the door to his chambers open and said servant stumbles in, clothes askew and hat torn across the bottom seams. 

 

He looks frightened and Sanghyuk doesn't hesitate to make him sit down on his bed, to which the servant shakes his head and proceeds to sit on the floor at his feet. In the next instant he is bowing at his feet, head between his folded arms as his body trembles.  
  
Before Sanghyuk can ask, Jaehwan speaks— _stutters_ , "Forgive me, my Lord. I was caught in the kitchens with the food and was accused of eating the scraps from your meal. I didn't wish to tell them of your actions and was reprimanded for my wrongdoings…please forgive my carelessness."  
  
Sanghyuk is in shock. The cooks had beaten him? The same cooks who were always the kindest to him? He doesn’t want to believe it but the evidence is kneeling before him. He doesn’t understand. Why must everyone pick on this poor servant? Had he done something so bad as to be treated like scum from every member of the castle?  
  
Sighing, Sanghyuk squats down and places a hand on Jaehwan's head, sees peaks of auburn hair through the small tear across the front of the hat, but ignores them as he coaxes the servant into standing up. The sight he is met with makes his heart clench. 

 

Jaehwan's face is streaked in tears, eyes swollen and lips quivering, bottom one harboring a nasty split as beads of red trickle out. He doesn’t know what to do. He has never been in this position, but he dearly wants to assure the other it is never going to happen again, which it isn't. He isn't going to allow anyone to touch Jaehwan as long as he is under his care and authority.  
  
So without further ado he brings the slightly smaller boy into his arms, embracing him in a tight grip as rests his forehead on a bony shoulder and just stands still for a few moments. No words are needed, and after a bit he slowly feels Jaehwan's trembles subside and cautious hands are lifted and placed on his back, the warmth seeping through Sanghyuk's thin nightshirt. 

 

He wishes the moment could last for an eternity, but when he glances at the pendulum clock above his mantle, dread fills him and he reluctantly pulls back. Although he only wishes to spend time with Jaehwan, he still has his duties and studies to attend.  
  
Jaehwan seems to understand as he moves over to where he had placed Sanghyuk's clothes and he helps Sanghyuk take off the nightshirt and scrub his body, much to Sanghyuk's embarrassment, with a sponge and basin. He thinks he sees a pink hue spread across those soft cheeks before him, but he can’t be sure for Jaehwan keeps looking down as he cleans him. But he's glad he isn't the only one who is affected.  
  
Soon his clothes are on and Jaehwan is fastening his belt even though Sanghyuk assured him he could do it himself. But he lets the other continue when he mumbles, "At least let me do one thing right." So once the belt was properly fastened, Sanghyuk is ready for his morning lesson. And he still has a good ten minutes to spare. 

 

But it is then that he notices Jaehwan is in the exact same clothes from the previous day. Of course he had noticed them, but it only dawns on him now that he hasn't _changed_ from the obviously uncomfortable clothing after many hours.  
  
"Jaehwan. Would you like to, perhaps, change into something else?" He questions.  
  
Jaehwan is startled by his voice, basin of water almost tipping out if his hands as he hastily sets it down on a nearby table. And then he turns to face Sanghyuk only to say, "I don’t have any other clothing, sir."  
  
But that doesn’t deter Sanghyuk as he happily leads the other to his closet and chooses a cream top that has frills on the cuffs and thread that is crisscrossed along the chest. It's a pretty simple top but Jaehwan seems entranced by the soft material as Sanghyuk hands him the blouse and then a pair of dark brown trousers. Jaehwan's own boots will do for now, as he knows they will be broken in soon enough.  
  
Jaehwan accepts all the clothing graciously and begins to change right away. Soon the tight clothing is gone and Jaehwan stands before Sanghyuk, unabashed in his nudity. Sanghyuk can’t help but look over the other once. His ribs are clearly visible, but in due time that will be taken care of. 

 

The rest of his lower torso is covered in thick wraps of what looks like medical gauze. The material is wrapped around his body from his stomach to right above his hips, and there's a curious little bump above Jaehwan's bottom, the lump on full display as he turns to pull his pants up quickly. Sanghyuk wants to ask why it’s there, has this urge that he has to fight to keep calm. 

 

Because his father told him not to wonder, so he will refrain himself, for now. At the moment, he continues to watch Jaehwan put on the trousers. Then the top is slipped on and boots are fastened and tied, and Jaehwan is ready. Well, almost ready.  
  
The ripped hat clashes horribly with the attire, the gold silk a harsh contrast to the earthly tones. So Sanghyuk motions towards the offending garment.  
  
"Would you mind wearing another hat?" The servant doesn’t say no, so Sanghyuk rummages through his drawers and comes up with a brown, slightly floppy toboggan. It was one he used to wear outside, the garment being huge on him when younger, but that was when was allowed to be outside. He doesn’t have any use for it now, but he is glad he kept it. 

 

It’s soft and perfect for Jaehwan to wear, something that will be comfortable and will last.  
  
"Here." He holds the hat out. "This will look much better and I guarantee will be a lot more comfortable. It's made from sheep's wool." 

 

The hat is taken and Jaehwan looks at him expectantly, to which Sanghyuk sighs as he obligingly turns around to face the stone wall. He hears the rustle of hair and then fingers are tapping on his shoulders. He turns and is immediately met with an even cuter Jaehwan. The hat is slightly large on him, falling down over the sides of his face and the top flops back against his neck. All in all, it's perfect for him.  
  
And with that the pair go off for the day. Today is mainly language studies, with a small lesson on the local forestry. Sanghyuk doesn’t know why he needs to know that the Ness Woods just outside of their lands are filled with all sorts of woodland creatures such as foxes, red deer, and pesky stoats. It’s not like learning about _weasels_ will help him control the lands and the people inhabiting it. But he listens to all the information, and of course takes diligent notes with his parchment and quill pen.  
  
Jaehwan is there the whole time, standing in the corner of the Study with his hands clasped behind his back and his head down. Every now and then Sanghyuk sees him move restlessly and he wishes he could tell him he can move, can sit down on the plush chairs, but he refrains. He can’t have his tutors telling his parents that he is too light-hearted towards his new servant.  
  
He continues his studies until it is time for supper. He opted to skip lunch since he knows Jaehwan wouldn’t be allowed to eat, and he didn’t think that was fair at all. So he leads Jaehwan back to his chambers, tired from the day's work and just wanting to stretch out on his bed. 

 

He flops onto his bed as Jaehwan closes the door and he lights the candles around the room while Sanghyuk watches, eyelids drooping. He hadn’t even noticed that Jaehwan was carrying a lit candlestick with him. No wonder it had been brighter than usual.  
  
Sanghyuk smiles. He must be more tired than he thought.  
  
The food arrives and Jaehwan helps the maid set out the platters, her sharp stares and small shoves not going unnoticed by the Young Lord. His eyes narrow and he outright glares at the maid when she turns to bow at him. Her eyes are wide as she quickly shuffles out, closing the door with a soft click.  
  
Like last time, Sanghyuk piles food onto his plate and pushes it towards Jaehwan, intent on letting the other eat first.  
  
“But sir, you must eat, too." Jaehwan's eyebrows furrow as he looks at the food before him. It’s obvious he wants to eat it, is probably starving just like Sanghyuk after not eating since breakfast. But like a good servant, he always puts his master first.  


It takes a lot of coaxing and bargaining, but soon Jaehwan is eating while Sanghyuk also slowly munches. Their new deal is that Jaehwan will eat as much as he is given, but only if Sanghyuk will eat with him.  
  
Just like before, Sanghyuk notices that Jaehwan keeps avoiding the vegetables and greens, opting to only devour the meat and some bread. He frowns. "You need to eat the vegetables too, Jaehwan. They hold a lot of nutrients you need, especially after being practically starved."  
  
The words cause Jaehwan to pause in the process of tearing into the chicken currently in his hands. He looks between Sanghyuk and the greens a few times before his nose scrunches up. "I don’t like vegetables."  
  
The statement is so matter-of-fact, so full of distaste that Sanghyuk bursts into laughter. And the sudden cackles startle Jaehwan before he timidly lets out a giggle of his own. When Sanghyuk finally calms down he is gasping for breath as he presses a hand to his chest, heart fluttering beneath his palm. He's never, in all his life, met someone quite like Jaehwan and he finds that he may truly come to care for the young man, servant or not.  
  
For the first time, he finds himself laughing and feeling happy. And he thinks he may have just found his first, and hopefully long-term, friend.


	3. Chapter III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is he really about to just break all trust between them for the sake of quenching his own curiosity? Will he really go as far as to possibly lose a friend over such a worthless cause? But then again they are supposedly friend, best of friends in Sanghyuk's opinion. Is it right to keep secrets from each other? No, it's not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, from here the posts will be less frequent due to school and family life. I will try to post once a week or every two weeks.

Sanghyuk is starting to like this routine. He always goes through his lessons, knowing that he now has an extra set of eyes on him, but unlike all those times he dreaded the new watchers, he finds that he doesn’t mind this new viewer. In fact, he looks forward to being able to sit through a lesson with the knowledge that he is always only a few steps away from the one he has come to call his friend.

Jaehwan is just perfect. Perfect personality, perfect skin, perfect voice, perfect face. And the list was always being added to whenever they talk at night, discussing this and that and just enjoying each other's company until it was time to sleep and repeat the pleasant cycle.

It is the first time Sanghyuk has looked forward to waking up, when before he only wanted to sleep, to just slumber his worries away. Now he has someone to confide in, to talk to and just relax with.

There are some downfalls though, as all good things undoubtedly have. One is Jaehwan's habit of always apologizing. He never goes an hour, sometimes even a moment without saying "I'm so sorry," or "Please forgive me." It annoys Sanghyuk, but not as much as how the staff of the castle still treat Jaehwan like trash, like something you would scrape from the bottom of your shoe with a blade, too disgusting to even touch directly.

There are many moments when Sanghyuk will catch a guard tripping the poor boy, or a maid "accidentally" knocking into the servant as he walks down the halls. And they have the nerve to even commit these acts in front of Sanghyuk, as if they truly believe Sanghyuk doesn’t mind having his servant belittled and bullied till tears are prickling his sweet eyes.

But oh how he does. It was one thing to verbally insult someone, which also isn't welcome in Sanghyuk's morals, but to reduce someone to tears they are too afraid to even release by patronizing and physically injuring them, that is something Sanghyuk cannot tolerate for much longer.

 

-

 

Walking down the halls from the study, Sanghyuk mutters under his breath as he thinks back to his lesson. It was literally on how to properly hunt. The whole etiquette and whatnot. When was Sanghyuk ever going to be able to hunt?

As far as Sanghyuk knows, he will never be allowed to set foot outside the front entrance, not even on the dusted stone pathway he remembers running across on when very young. It is just so absurd to be taught something so utterly useless to him.

Were they trying to rub it in that they know he can never go outside? Never smell the fresh grassy fields or the honeysuckles that line the garden lattices during the spring, never run along the small paths that lead to the creeks on the outskirts of the Ness Woods. Never even have the opportunity to complain about stepping in mud or other substances that are just as unpleasant.

Sighing, Sanghyuk continues along the stone floors, alone for the first time in quite a few months. He doesn’t like it, but he can't very well prevent Jaehwan from his duties that are expected of him. At the moment he is washing Sanghyuk's clothes, and the thought that he could only walk a few halls down and see his servant crosses his mind, before he shakes his head from the thoughts.

He shouldn’t be so attached to the boy, he knows that. He doesn’t want Jaehwan to get into trouble again because of him. Since the breakfast incident that first morning, Sanghyuk has paid careful attention with making sure he is absolutely conscientious of his actions, and how they will reflect on Jaehwan's wellbeing.

Suddenly a crash resounds through the hall, and Sanghyuk starts at the sound, jolting slightly as he looks behind him. The sound had come from the direction of the wash room, and he doesn’t hesitate as he moves swiftly. And comes face to face with a scene that isn’t so surprising anymore, but just as infuriating.

Jaehwan is hunched over a big tub, the soapy water within sloshing around dangerously, threatening to tip over the wooden edges. But that isn’t what is worrying Sanghyuk. It's the way the guard above Jaehwan is laughing as he brings his foot back again for what will presumably be a nasty kick. And it is soon enough.

The booted foot lands sickeningly close to Jaehwan's ribs, a gross thump sounding as the servant is thrown over the tub, falling in head first and causing quite a bit of the water to spill about. Jaehwan's sputtering and coughing as he sits up. His clothes are absolutely soaked and his hat lays heavy about his brows, which are furrowed as the young man's eyes darken considerably.

"Worthless pest, you are." The guard spits at Jaehwan's feet, hanging out of the tub limply.

The guard sneers. "I'd be surprised if the young Lord will keep you for much longer. Clumsy, filthy animal."

Jaehwan is still in the tub and the sight of the lack of response tears Sanghyuk up. He doesn’t want to even think about what is going on through Jaehwan's head at the moment. What sort of thoughts are passing through. Are they murderous? Ill-intentioned plots of revenge? Or is there just fear. Fear and hopelessness that will almost always eat a person away till they are but a shell of what they once were.

The guard moves and Sanghyuk's gaze shoots up as he watches the burly man lean down to splash some of the suds probably ridden with dirt at Jaehwan's hanging face, hidden under unruly bangs as his head is tipped down towards the murky waters consuming him.

Urged on by the slight flinch Jaehwan gives, the guard cackles and repeats the process until Jaehwan's hair is hanging with foam and his face is visibly scrunched even in his current position. It's both a pathetic and pitiful sight.

Then the guard swiftly brings a hand down to smack against the covered head, causing Jaehwan to tip over the tub, more water and soggy clothes being thrown over the edges.

Sanghyuk is just about to march in there and give that guard a piece of his mind, wanting to wipe that smirk off his ugly mug, but just as suddenly as the incident happens, Jaehwan is back on his feet, staring the man down. And Sanghyuk notices then just how tall Jaehwan really is. He himself is one of, if not the tallest in the castle. But Jaehwan, at full height, is almost just as tall as Sanghyuk. And he towers over the guard.

Jaehwan's hands clench and he starts towards the guard. Although Sanghyuk cannot see his face from his view at the entrance of the room, head barely peeking in, he can clearly feel the anger radiating from the servant as he advances. The guard seems surprised, and maybe slightly fearful as Jaehwan keeps making his way over. Sanghyuk doesn’t understand why.

Why in the world would someone be scared of someone they saw as lower than dirt, nonetheless someone as harmless as Jaehwan. These thoughts race through Sanghyuk's mind as Jaehwan keeps stepping closer to the guard, the air seeming to become heavy with tension and something unknown, something Sanghyuk just can't place.

And then he stops, halts everything as his head jerks around and Sanghyuk is left scrambling away.

He doesn’t stop running until he is well away, past the halls and up the stairs to his chambers. He stops once inside, leaning against his door as he battles with his lungs to gather in much needed air. His heart is racing and his chest heaves. But all he can think of is the last image he saw.

He swears he saw a flash of something within Jaehwan's mouth, that something glinting in the light of the adjacent windows along the halls. And unless Sanghyuk's imagination was running wild, he had most definitely seen movement under that hat, and maybe he can blame it on the material being so soaked it had flopped with Jaehwan's movements, but it was almost too perfect of a coincidence.

But that couldn’t be. What would even be under that hat? Horns? No, that’s just absurd. With a sigh Sanghyuk makes his way over to his bed and plops down. Going straight to sleep was starting to sound really inviting just about now, but he knows he can't. Him and Jaehwan always talk and eat dinner together before going to bed. It wouldn’t be fair to him if he just decided to skip everything.

So Sanghyuk stays up until his servant slips in, the light outside rapidly dispersing as night settles and the moon shines bright through Sanghyuk's tall window. Jaehwan doesn’t seem any different, no hints at what had happened earlier that day slipping through as he sheepishly smiles at Sanghyuk and motions to the food in his hands, laying on a large silver platter.

It's the usual deal, except now Sanghyuk specifically asks for more meat and less vegetables. He had to beg the cooks to go through with the request without telling his parents. It had been tough, but one flash of his signature puppy-dog face and the cooks were as good as caught, reluctantly agreeing.

And it was worth all the efforts to see Jaehwan happily munch away every night. It has only been a couple of months since they had officially met, but Jaehwan is already looking much healthier. His ribs aren't protruding anymore and his strength seems to be growing with every passing day, as well as his personality. He isn't afraid to speak his worries anymore and that pleases Sanghyuk more than he cares to admit.

Now, seeing Jaehwan stuffing his face like every night, having no qualms with looking positively like an animal, Sanghyuk can't bring himself to ask about what he had saw. Instead, he asks Jaehwan to pass the roast duck and smiles as Jaehwan tries to speak around the mass of food in his cheeks as he hands Sanghyuk the platter.

 

-

 

And so the next few months go almost exactly the same. Sanghyuk always manages to catch Jaehwan being tossed around, and he always refrains from intervening unless it becomes serious enough to where Sanghyuk fears for Jaehwan's health. It is a bargain him and Jaehwan have for the sake of both of them. Neither want to face the wrath of Sanghyuk's father.

But as per usual, that promise is soon broken when Sanghyuk finds Jaehwan sobbing in the corners of the kitchen, now abandoned as it is far too late for anyone to be awake. But Sanghyuk was and still is, and his concern for his servant and dear friend was blossoming by the minute as he had waited for Jaehwan's return, which he had never received. So he decides to walk around the castle to see if he could find his missing one.

And seeing Jaehwan curled up in a fetal position, head buried in his knees as his sobs wracked his body, Sanghyuk knows enough is enough. He is not going to have this go on any longer. He will properly discipline those who had hurt Jaehwan. Later.

But for now he helps the young man up, the other's legs shaking as he struggles to stand. He ends up leaning heavily on Sanghyuk but he's perfectly okay with that. In fact, he quite likes the warmth seeping into him from having another body against his. Intimate gestures and actions are still foreign to Sanghyuk, but if they are anything like what he is experiencing now, he knows he won't mind them at all.

He takes Jaehwan to his room and settles the servant on his own bed, tucking him in and slipping in beside him, ignoring all protests from Jaehwan as Sanghyuk holds him close and rocks him to sleep. It’s the first and last time Jaehwan plans to sleep in Sanghyuk's bed, plainly telling him the next morning that it wouldn’t look right if a maid or Angus would walk in on them.

It causes Sanghyuk to sigh deeply, but he understands. He won't argue with Jaehwan at the moment. For now, it is time to find those servants and apparently one guard who had reduced Jaehwan tears the previous night.

He only has to yell at a few guards and maids before the staff manage to figure out that he doesn’t like Jaehwan being treated so harshly. But still his father doesn’t call him in, and he's both surprised and relieved that no one is being punished, whether it be him or Jaehwan or any of the other servants.

Jaehwan and Sanghyuk become close in the those months, always talking away in the mornings and at nights, and Sanghyuk must admit he loves it. He learns that Jaehwan is actually older than him by a few years, and that he had lived near the forest before his father took him in graciously. That comment had made Sanghyuk scrunch his nose in distaste, clearly knowing his father had probably had benefits from taking him in, whatever those may be.

But all in all, they talk about it all. He loves being able to rant and curse and watch as Jaehwan laughs at his make believe plans to get back at his father. And he outright chortles when Sanghyuk mentions filling his trousers with slugs, wanting to see his father's face twist as the slimy creatures crawl all over his legs.

The sight of Jaehwan laughing is like nothing he has ever seen. The servant's breathtaking chocolate eyes will scrunch up and curve as his honey-like laughter will fill the room to the brim, making Sanghyuk unable to refrain from laughing himself. Those plush lips will pull back and bright teeth will shine in the candlelight as Sanghyuk watches, mesmerized.

He's become so open and comfortable that Sanghyuk sometimes forgets he's a servant, practically a slave in his household. There are moments where he is reminded of this. Such as when Sanghyuk will talk about his family problems and then, on reflex, will ask Jaehwan about his family, and realizes too late his mistake as Jaehwan's smile slips away and his eyes gleam.

Then Sanghyuk is met with a totally different Jaehwan. One that closes up and will request to go to bed early, without dinner.

Even when Sanghyuk persists and truly wishes to know about Jaehwan's past, the other still closes up and will not speak for the rest of the night. It's frustrating.

The next subject that irks Sanghyuk is the fact that after all the time spent together, Jaehwan still insists on never taking his hat or band off. Even on days where he clearly needs washing he will keep on the garments and will wait till Sanghyuk is dead asleep to wash, washroom closed and locked from the inside so even if Sanghyuk wanted to stay up and sneak in he wouldn’t be able to.

How hard is it to just slip off the hat and band? Will it truly kill him to just show Sanghyuk what is under that god forsaken material? All Sanghyuk wants to do is understand Jaehwan more, to become as close as possible. And all of their problems laid with this subject.

No matter how many times Sanghyuk begged Jaehwan, the servant didn’t relent nor stay on the topic for longer than needed. His excuse is always, "Your father would not advise it. So I will not betray his trust in me." The same damned excuse for every time Sanghyuk pestered him, which was starting to become daily.

He had even made an attempt at wrenching the garment off his head one night, and was promptly pushed onto his bed rather harshly as he struggled against a surprisingly strong and able Jaehwan who had him pinned down in a matter of seconds. In just a blink of an eye.

It's really starting to get to him.

So one morning, almost six months since Jaehwan has become his servant, Sanghyuk decides it's about time to take action.

Staying up through the night, Sanghyuk doesn’t risk sleep even for a moment. He wishes to be up earlier than Jaehwan, and when dusk is only starting to peek over the horizon, the young Lord slips out of sheets and moves towards the corner of the room where Jaehwan sleeps, buried in a thicket of blankets and downy pillows.

Sanghyuk had practically forced Jaehwan into taking the offered materials and he is still satisfied about the outcome. It was far too cold and harsh this winter for one to sleep on a simple mat under the thinnest sheets ever seen.

He's just crouching down beside the slumbering servant when it hits him. Is he really about to just break all trust between them for the sake of quenching his own curiosity? Will he really go as far as to possibly lose a friend over such a worthless cause?

But then again they are supposedly friend, best of friends in Sanghyuk's opinion. Is it right to keep secrets from each other? No, it's not. They should be able to talk about anything and this, this hat and absurd band are the only things in the way of true friendship now. And Sanghyuk means to abolish those forsaken objects as quick as possible.

Reaching over, Sanghyuk softly runs his hand along the material of the toboggan. The same one he had given him all those months ago. It is warm and as Sanghyuk presses down he feels the fluttering of something underneath. It excites him and scares him. His heart is beating away, the rhythmic pulses reaching up into his throat as he tries to take deep breaths. It’s the moment of truth, and also the moment of risk.

With one last breath, Sanghyuk grasps ahold of the hat and pulls with all the strength he can muster at the moment, which may not even rival that of a mouse. The hat slips off easily, and Sanghyuk is only given a second to look at the garment in his hand before he sees Jaehwan jerk awake, a cry slipping past his lips as his sleep ridden state is startled.

And before Sanghyuk can look closely at the now bare head revealed to him, Jaehwan becomes aware of what had just happened as he stares at the hat in Sanghyuk's hand in horror, face twisting almost unnaturally as he then looks up at Sanghyuk.

And then all hell breaks loose.


	4. Chapter IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is his punishment for being kind, for being something other than what he was born to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the sorry picks up!!! Finally, the real start of the fic^^

It all happens so fast. One moment Sanghyuk is holding the hat, crouching above Jaehwan's sleep ridden form, and the next he's thrown across the room.  
  
He can see everything slowly, and he thinks, this must be what people say when they can see their life flash before their eyes. He thinks back to all the good memories of his past, and realizes that they mostly begin when Jaehwan comes into his life. Those nights they just talk, no worries about the world, and begin to trust each other inevitably.  
  
But now Sanghyuk feels that he has broken that trust, the friendship already fragile in its state, ridden to fear and anxiety from his father's wishes. If only they could open up more, could be completely honest with each other. That’s what he wishes to see, the only thing he truly wants.  
  
Now, though, all he sees is a blurred view of what he presumes is his ceiling. Why is he looking at his ceiling? Oh that’s right, he's in the air. It feels amazing, no weight holding him down, just to be free, almost floating. But he's not floating, he's falling. Looking back, Sanghyuk can see his night stand, the wooden table with its intricate designs. It has a full vase of flowers on it, presumably left by a lingering maid from the morning prior. They always do that. Leave him flowers.  
  
Today they're cyclamen, petals as white and pure as snow, brown stems leaving a warmth that goes without appreciation. Sanghyuk observes the flowers as his hand, flung back in the fall, catches on the ends of the vase and he watches the fragile glass tip over the edge and then fall, much like he is, but seemingly faster. The glass only meets the ground for a split second, a moment too fast for even the beat of a heart, and the vase shatters; beautifully so. The shards twinkle in the morning light and water is splashed across the hauntingly mesmerizing pieces as those pure flowers lay across the shards. They are like the roses in a thorn bush, beautiful and enchanting as they lie within their ghastly surroundings.  
  
It’s then that Sanghyuk notices his fall coming to an end, he sees the shards just beneath him as his head twists back, and he knows he should try to move, anything to avoid the inevitable crash. But he can't of course, he has no control in his current state, and the flowers, all glinting with glass, become closer far quicker than he anticipates.  
  
And then comes the end. His back hits the wall of his room with a dull thud, head banging against the unforgiving stone. It jars him enough to where he doesn’t feel the pain. Not until he moves. His hands burn, his arms are screaming, and he just wants to sleep. But he doesn’t, the pain is far too prominent for rest. His skin is on fire and his head throbs.  
  
He wants to scream, to cry out. And maybe he does. He can't hear anything.  
  
Eyes fluttering, Sanghyuk wearily looks down as his vision returns, room now still as before it was spinning out of control. He sees red, and is dimly aware that it's his own blood, flowing from the jagged cuts along his arms and hands, soaking into the flowers around him. The almost translucent petals are painted in the dark crimson, splattered almost endearingly so. It's enrapturing and Sanghyuk can hear his heart thump wildly as he continues to stare at the scene.  
  
He tries to remember how he got in this situation. Why is he bleeding? Why is there so much glass and pain? Did he disobey his father? Had the man finally become fed up with his son?  
  
Too many questions. The thoughts hurt his head, and Sanghyuk should be more worried about the damage. But he isn't.  
  
He hears the doors to his chambers open, and realizes he can hear once again apart from the constant ringing resounding in his head. He tries to stand, but hands are soon on him. Small, bony hands. The maids' hands.  
  
Once again he tries to move, but the hands hold him down. Voices are murmuring above him and Sanghyuk is aware of screaming and the trampling of booted feet against stone before his door is slammed closed and Sanghyuk is left with the murmuring and wandering hands. Some of the fingers pass by the shard embedded in his skin and he cries out, voice hoarse.  
  
These aren't the hands he wants. These hands should be bigger, tougher but also softer to the touch. And far more careful. But the hands on him are tiny, slim and unrelenting as they slide down his body almost like that of a spider, slinking along its web which just so happens to be Sanghyuk at the moment.  
  
He doesn’t want this. He wants _his_ hands.  
  
"Filthy animal," a voice speaks, tone filled with apprehension and disgust. Another responds.  
  
"Atrocious creature, that boy. Look at what he's done to the Young Lord. Poor lad."  
  
Who is _he_ though? Is he the family doctor? Is that why he wants him? That would make sense in the situation. But no, it just doesn’t click. He isn't a doctor, a doctor wouldn’t do this to him. No, but he still helps others. Helps Sanghyuk.  
  
Help. That’s the key word. Who helps him? Who has hands that are rough from work and pleasing to the touch? A servant? Yes, a servant. His servant. _That’s it_. 

 

His servant.  
  
Gasping, Sanghyuk jerks up and the hands fall.  
  
" _Jaehwan_ ," he whispers.  
  
He looks around, frantic. Where is Jaehwan? His room is empty apart from him and the two maids kneeling beside him, careful of the glass. They are talking to him, asking him questions, but he doesn’t respond. He can't. he needs Jaehwan.  
  
"Where is he?" He pleads, voice cracking. The maids look at each other and then back to Sanghyuk, eyes wary. It’s the older one, with salt and pepper hair, eyes old but knowing, who answers. Her lips set as she responds.  
  
"He's with your father."  
  
That’s all it takes. In the next moment Sanghyuk is on his feet, figure wobbly but determined as he rushes out of his room. He ignores the cries of protest from the maids, but he does catch the last few words shared between them, lingering in the air.  
  
"That creature will probably die."  
  
"Serves him right."  
  
Holding back sobs, Sanghyuk runs like his life depends on it. But no, it's Jaehwan's life who depends on it. He can already see his father's blade, one hardly ever used, raising in the air and slicing down on Jaehwan, the boy probably shaking in fear and begging. He can see his motionless body lying still on the blade, red everywhere.  
  
He can't let that happen. He isn't going to let that happen.  
  
Rounding the corner and stumbling down the stairs, Sanghyuk can hear voices in the main hall, and he enters to see a few guards outside of his father's study, talking away. They don’t seem at all disturbed or worried while Sanghyuk can hear his blood rushing through his ears, face dripping in sweat and arms throbbing dangerously from the still open wounds. He's positive he has left a trail of blood and glass, but he doesn’t care about that. All he cares about is Jaehwan.  
  
Without even asking, Sanghyuk pushes the guards away even as they ask what the Young Lord wants, asks if he's okay after the attack. Attack. Is that what they are calling it?  
  
One of the guards notices the blood and glass and tries to restrain Sanghyuk as he calls for a maid, someone to help the Young Lord. But he doesn’t want help. He doesn’t care if he's bleeding out as the minutes pass, that he swears his left arm is beginning to become numb. He just wants Jaehwan.  
  
Pushing once again, Sanghyuk practically shoves the guard away and throws open the heavy door to his father's Study, his entire body screaming in protest as the action rips open closing wounds. All he sees is blurs, body stumbling in the room clumsily as he grasps onto what he soon realizes is a desk as his vision returns.  
  
There isn't the bustling of voices or the sounds of violence that Sanghyuk expects, and he looks up to see his father, Lord Han, standing before a crouched figure, the kneeling man's arms being held by the two guards on either side of him. It's Jaehwan, Sanghyuk can absolutely see that, but what he also sees is something that he wants to believe is a joke.  
  
Lying on both sides of his head, where his ears should be, where normal, _human_ ears should be, are a pair of rounded ears. The ears are quite larger than a human's and covered in hair, the same hair on Jaehwan's head, auburn with mixes of blondes and a white brim around the outside.  
  
The sight is unreal, and if Sanghyuk's loud entrance doesn’t pull all eyes toward him, then the garbled noise that is pulled from his throat does. Lord Han looks up and sets his eyes upon his son, something close to mirth lingering in his gaze. And Sanghyuk stares into them because he notices Jaehwan moving before his father, head twisting back to look at Sanghyuk. He doesn’t waver his eyes from his father's. He doesn’t want to. He can't look at Jaehwan right now.  
  
Because what will he say?  
  
Lord Han clears his throat. "Ah, Sanghyuk, it's good that you're here. We were just discussing this servant's sentence." His voice twists at the end, clear disgust seeping through. "Would you like to have a say in the matter given you are apparently here for a drastic reason?"  
  
Sanghyuk's thoughts are whirling out of control. Sentence? What sentence? Is Jaehwan going to be killed? Sent to prison? . . . Tortured? All are plausible outcomes given his father's violent tendencies. But he won't let anything happen to Jaehwan.  
  
"Y—— . . . yes, I would like to have a say, father." His voice is small, barely above a whisper. Some of the staff have come in and are staring at the scene, and his father does nothing to ward them off, to let them have privacy. Even his mother is off to the side, her face set and her attention on the servant still kneeling and being held in the center of the room.  
  
His father smiles, twisted and insincere. "Well, shall we begin, then?"  
  
Lord Han turns to look at Jaehwan, and the smile easily slips off his face, a well structured frown acting as a replacement as he reaches out to not so gently tilt the servant's face up, no doubt to look into the eyes of his next victim. Although Sanghyuk cannot see Jaehwan's expression, he can tell by his father's hard set eyes that it's not something to be expected of the lower class.  
  
Even though Sanghyuk wants to so badly stride over and take Jaehwan away from this heavy atmosphere and from his inevitable punishment, he can't. Because that is considered interfering with the Lord Han's decision.  
  
So he watches as his father leans down to whisper something in one of Jaehwan's ears, and they twitch lightly at whatever his father has said. Then his father is leaning back, a sure look on his face as he reaches over to pick up his sword, raising it slightly above Jaehwan's shoulder. And at that moment Sanghyuk's heart swoops into his stomach and his eyes widen immensely.  
  
No, no. They can't kill him. They just can't.  
  
Without even thinking Sanghyuk is suddenly there, his feet carrying him over the polished stone floors, boots clicking sharply as he races towards his servant and father. His hand is already out by the time he gets there, splayed out before Jaehwan as his body follows suit to cover the kneeling boy. He won't let happen. His father will not kill this young man.  
  
"No." The word tears from his throat hoarsely as emotions well up in his chest. His arms are shaking and his legs feel weak but he stands tall before his father, before Jaehwan. 

 

The sword lowers slowly.  
  
Lord Han sneers and makes a sharp gesture with his free hand, the one not holding the glinting sword, and guards immediately come over and grab Sanghyuk. They try to be careful with the wounds but of course more glass is pushed into the lacerations as they drag the Young Lord away to stand to the side, this time facing Jaehwan and seeing his closed off expression. He can feel the newly welling blood drip down his wrists and hears the pattering of the droplets on the floor, but he doesn’t look away to check his wounds. Instead, he looks straight at Jaehwan as his father raises the sword again.  
  
This is his punishment for being kind, for being something other than what he was born to be. The sword lowers and with it goes Sanghyuk's emotions, the frantic turmoil bubbling over as the sword makes its descent.  
  
And then stops, hovering over the flesh before turning to lower until the flat of the blade is pressed against Jaehwan's shoulder. The sword is then drawn away and Jaehwan's eyes widen. Sanghyuk now can't see his father's face, but he hears the booming words spoken in the next instant.  
  
"Go. Leave this castle and these lands. I do not want to see your face ever again, do you understand? Any sight of you, any rumor of you lingering about and I will have you beheaded and stuffed as a reminder to your filthy kind." His father's voice is lingering on hostile as he finishes. "You are hereby banished from the lands. You have until the sun rises to leave for the Ness Woods."  
  
Sanghyuk feels like he's been punched in the gut, all the air escaping him as he hears the orders over and over again in his head. And what makes it worse is the flash of hope that spreads across Jaehwan's face. The servant is composed but there is undoubtedly a new glimmer of emotion in those dark brown eyes, an emotion that screams joy.  
  
The suddenness of everything makes Sanghyuk sick to his stomach. He slumps in the guards' hold as he watches, defeated, as Jaehwan is pulled up and led to the door. Before Sanghyuk watches Jaehwan leave for the last time, Jaehwan looks back and catches Sanghyuk's gaze to mouth two words that have the young Lord close to tears.  
  
He says, " _I'm sorry._ "  
  
And the next instant Sanghyuk is only aware of his screams as he pulls against the hands holding him back, fresh blood falling to the floor, mixing with newly shed tears as he struggles hopelessly. He needs Jaehwan. He wants Jaehwan. He doesn’t want to be alone again, that empty feeling that he never realized was there until Jaehwan came into his life. He doesn’t want to lose his best friend when he only just found him.  
  
The screams continue until his voice is hoarse and his body weak from blood loss. But he still forces his vocal cords to their limit. It’s the only thing he can do with how helpless he feels. He claws at the hands holding him, sobs racking his weakening frame as he desperately tries to escape, to go after Jaehwan.  
  
And then a sharp slap resounds through the room and Sanghyuk's head is whipped to the side as his cheek stings from the contact. He looks over, speechless, to see his mom standing before him, face set in fury and gaze hard.  
  
"I will not have my son become a babbling fool for such a worthless cause. You will not scream over the loss of a servant, do you hear me? They are the scum beneath our feet and are replaceable," she seethes, tone venomous.  
  
Sanghyuk swallows and feels his body throb as the fight leaves him. It's no use. His mother smiles, an icy smirk that doesn’t reach her eyes.  
  
"Now, go to your room and we will talk more tomorrow."  
  
~  
  
The sky is cloudy but bright as Sanghyuk looks out the window. He sees the thick blankets of snow and can only wonder how Jaehwan is faring. Is he alright out there? It’s the middle of winter and the nights will only become colder as the days pass.  
  
His wounds have been dressed properly and although his arms still throb, the pain is a pleasant reminder of his last moments with his friend. He doesn’t fret over how Jaehwan had practically thrown him across a room, but recognizes the pain as a remembrance of those precious memories that will forever be kept.  
  
What hurts the worst is the knowledge of how useless he was when he told Jaehwan he would be there for him, protect him. That is a wound that can not be taken care of with medicinal herbs and cloth.  
  
The next few hours seem to happen too fast and before Sanghyuk knows it the moon is creeping up, shining through the tall window and Sanghyuk basks in its light as his eyes slip shut. He swallows thickly and tries to remember one night, a few weeks ago, when Jaehwan was laying beside him as they watched the moon.  
  
_“I've always loved nighttime," Jaehwan says as he fiddles with the top of his toboggan._ _  
__  
___His voice pulls Sanghyuk away from the book he's currently buried in. It's interesting and one of the only novels he's read and liked so far that he's forced to read for his studies. But he puts it down to peer over at Jaehwan who has now slipped off the bed to lean against the window seal. His eyes shine with the moon's light and his features are illuminated perfectly in the low luminescence.

 _  
_ _Sanghyuk doesn’t say anything, only hums as he pats the bed and Jaehwan beams and slips in the sheets beside Sanghyuk and peers over Sanghyuk's shoulder occasionally to look at the book in his hands. Sanghyuk notices and smiles as he offers it to Jaehwan, who shakes his head furiously._ _  
__  
__"Oh no, I can’t read at all. It's hard enough to talk properly."_ _  
__  
__"Oh." Sanghyuk doesn’t know what else to say, and he feels his face heat up. Jaehwan notices and laughs softly, patting Sanghyuk's hand that’s curled around the spine before laying back to go to sleep, a soft smile upon his face. And Sanghyuk feels his heart's barricade melt just a bit more._ _  
___  
The memory is still fresh in Sanghyuk's mind. And it makes him smile. He looks back to the window and notices his reflection. The smile on his face looks watery and lifeless, but he can't help but smile when he thinks of Jaehwan. He can't help how his heart beats fervently in his chest, pounding against his rib-cage like it's trying to escape. Maybe to find Jaehwan, maybe to just be away from the mess Sanghyuk has become.

 

A sudden flash of light catches his eye and Sanghyuk looks up to see a surprisingly clear winter night. The light that had caught his eye turns out to be a meteorite and Sanghyuk watches as it falls. He needs to make a wish.

 

Closing his eyes he wishes for the very thing he has lost. He wishes to have his best friend back. He wishes for Jaehwan. He just wishes that he could go find him.

 

His eyes flash open. 

 

Wait, he  _ can _ find him. He can leave right now and search for his friend, bring him back or better yet, run off with him, away from his duties and the heavy weight of responsibility that has become a vice grip around his life. 

He can go find Jaehwan himself. 

 

Mind set, Sanghyuk runs across the room to the entrance of his chambers, only pausing to grab his boots and stuff his feet in as he quietly opens the door. He almost leaves before he spots Jaehwan’s toboggan and grabs it quickly before slipping out. The material is soft in his hands and is a great encouragement, the only thing keeping him grounded as he slinks down the winding stairs and peeks around every corner to make sure no one is up. Which they aren’t. Who would be crazy enough to be awake at this hour when everything is dead and cold. Not even a thief would risk the current chills of the harsh winter nights.

 

He follows the familiar paths until he is standing at the door to the front entrance. He knows that beyond it lies the gates, the final obstacle between him and the Ness Woods which is only a few minutes’ walk from the castle. 

 

Taking a deep breath, Sanghyuk reaches out and gingerly grasps the handle as if it might burn him. He almost forgot what the metal felt like under his palm, cold and bumpy with its intricate carvings. When nothing happens, no guards come running out to restrain him, he finally pulls and is hit by an icy wind that chills him to the bone. He shivers, but walks out of the castle for what may be the last time, toboggan held tightly in one hand as he quietly shuts the door and practically runs to the gates, easily slipping through the slightly open bars and out into the knee-deep snow.

 

He doesn’t feel the cold at first. No, he doesn’t feel how the snow slowly melts into his thin night clothes, a flimsy long-sleeved shirt and only slightly thick trousers. The bottoms of the pants are stuffed in his boots haphazardly and he shivers as snow slips in the small openings every now and then and touches his bare feet as he takes the path to the Ness Woods.

 

By the time he is at the first few trees marking the start of the forest, Sanghyuk can’t even feel his appendages, the throb now completely void from lack of circulation and his lips or nose are numb as he pants, only being able to hear the sharp breeze and chattering of his teeth. 

 

He stops right at a large oak tree. The forest screams impending doom, but Sanghyuk knows Jaehwan is in there, so he forces his numb feet to move, shivering violently with every harsh breath he takes. The cold air feels like daggers to his dry throat. He’s thirsty and cold and probably is going to have severe frostbite soon, but he doesn’t stop moving. If he stops he’s afraid he won’t be able to start again.

 

After what feels like an hour of walking through the woods Sanghyuk swears it has gotten colder and he can’t even see a few feet in front of him at a time with the moon’s light dwindling down, becoming covered by thicker tree tops, for some reason still full even in the winter. The leaves don’t even appear to be dying as they should be during Winter. Instead they are green and covered in frost, almost ethereal in their deadly beauty. 

 

He hears it before he sees the small flurry of snow blowing towards him. It hits him in an instant. He’s flung backwards and feels his back hit the trunk of a tree. As he falls to a heap in the snow he thinks of how ironic this is. To be flung around twice in one day. Maybe it’s a punishment for his earlier actions. 

 

Nevertheless Sanghyuk wheezes as he tries to sit up. Everything hurts. His eyelashes are frosted and he feels his eyelids becoming heavy from snow and the freezing wind. It’s hopeless. He tries to move his arms, but they’re dead weight at his sides, not even able to twitch his fingers as they lay in the snow, turning a horrendous purple. 

 

He wants to sleep, to just sleep everything away and be able to wake up to Jaehwan bringing in their breakfast. To hope this is all just a nightmare. But it isn’t a dream, no, it’s a living hell he created when he pulled that dreaded hat off. 

 

The hat.

 

Head moving with much force, Sanghyuk spies the toboggan a few feet from him, covered in snow, frosted. He wants it. No, he  _ needs  _ it. With much struggle he manages to move his hand, and then his arm as he reaches out, tears running down his cheeks and freezing almost instantly. 

 

It’s cold. So cold, but he doesn’t stop. He first touches the rim and then grabs the hat, the material crunching under his fingers. Or maybe his fingers are cracking. He doesn’t know or care at this point.

 

He pulls that hat close and cradles it against his chest as he closes his eyes. This is the end. After everything, after months of friendship, his downfall is himself as he ruined everything with a simple lift of a hat. 

 

Tears burning his eyes, Sanghyuk sobs. They wrack his body and make him tremble even harder within the cold. He swallows thickly, throat coarse and dry. He needs water.

 

A noise suddenly resounds through the woods, eery and high pitched. Confused, Sanghyuk looks over to see a light appear in front of him, almost as if it were lying on the snow. It’s round but also almost shapeless as it shimmers around the edge. And then it moves, and for some reason, Sanghyuk moves with it. 

 

Against the screaming protests of his body and mind, Sanghyuk crawls on shaky limbs towards the light, the hat tucked in his hand tightly. He crawls until he is at a large pond, just under a gigantic weeping willow. The soft tendrils of the tree brush Sanghyuk’s fingers as he desperately cups heaping mouthfuls of ice cold water into his mouth. It burns but is so refreshing. 

 

When he's satisfied, and when his hands can no longer move, Sanghyuk lays back on the bay and watches the pond. The water suddenly ripples and Sanghyuk watches as a pale hand appears, slightly damp as it drips water that soon turns to icy pearls. The hand reaches out until it lands on Sanghyuk’s forehead. And the moment a surprisingly warm palm lands on the Young Lord’s head, the light disappears. 

 

The last thing Sanghyuk sees before his eyes close are vibrant green eyes and a small mouth, upturned at the ends. Then he slips off into the welcoming darkness as warmth invades him.


	5. Chapter V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh…" Suddenly Sanghyuk feels embarrassed. He completely forgot how the other must have saved him. He still remembers the green eyes and warm palm. "Thank you…for saving me."

Sanghyuk wakes to an awful smell. The aroma hits him hard as he jolts awake, grunting at the dull pain in his arms and hands. His eyes open blearily to come-face-to face with a fish, eyes staring blankly at him and mouth gaping open.

He scrunches his nose up as the smell hits him again. A dead fish is not something one wishes to wake up to. It also doesn’t help that he is almost sure he feels something slimy running under his cheek. He gags as he turns away.

And then it hits him. He's not cold anymore. Groaning, Sanghyuk sits up, hyperaware of his wounds as he carefully stretches. Looking around, he sees he's in the same spot as the night before, on the bay beside the pond. But there's something drastically different. The snow and ice are gone. Like they were never there. The leaves are free of frost and there's grass flowing in a light breeze beside him. It's like it's summertime.

Suddenly a loud splash resounds and the young man whips his head around to see the water near him rippling before a head appears. Then a hand pops out quickly followed by a bare torso and as Sanghyuk watches, a man plops a few fish down in the growing pile. He's humming some tune and is about to dive back when he notices Sanghyuk.

Vibrant green eyes meet dark brown ones and the latter’s widen as the man in the water yelps and dives back under. All he sees is a blob of green and a few bubbles escaping to the surface until the water's ripples cease and everything is quiet again.

 

It takes a few moments before what just happened sinks in and Sanghyuk’s eyes flit around for any sight of the man.

_ Did he drown? Is he okay? _

Panicking, Sanghyuk ignores the sharp pain that comes with crawling over to the edge of the bay and crouches before diving in the surprisingly deep pond. Everything is blurry for a moment before he blinks and sees the foggy water clearing and his eyes widen as he takes in the huge expanse of space he sees. There's all types of creatures swimming about. Fish in all colors and a few creatures that look suspiciously like black horses roaming the bottom. One of them notices Sanghyuk struggling and dark eyes meet his own. Sanghyuk feels a shiver run down his spine and he glances up to the surface as he feels his lungs start to burn.

The strange man with the green eyes is nowhere to be seen, and as Sanghyuk is looking around, desperate to be done with this and just return to the safety of the peer, one of the "horses" starts to move his way. For some reason Sanghyuk feels panic bubbling up in his chest and he tries to swim away but then he feels something grab onto his ankle. Looking down he sees deep green kelp encircling his ankles and follows the strands until they end at the horse's mane, now seemingly alive as the tendrils twist and stretch out towards him.

He can't scream, he knows he can't, but he tries anyway and watches as what precious air he has floats up to the surface in a flurry of bubbles. Water soon fills his mouth and he tries to expel it, but the flow is relentless and he feels it trickling into his lungs as he twists in the creature's hold. But that only seems to make it worse, for the tendrils tighten and he's being pulled farther from the surface, eyes and throat burning.

As he is dragged nearer Sanghyuk makes the mistake of looking down at the creature. What once looked like a shaggy black horse is now a twisted image of its former self, mouth gaping open as large teeth are shown, yellow and haggard in their appearance. When the Young Lord is only a few feet away he can see chunks of what look like flesh between those teeth and clenches his eyes shut as he wills himself to drown faster. But even though his chest is burning and his lungs feel full he only sees a few spots. It feels like he's ready to go to sleep.

And then a green blur flits by Sanghyuk's limited vision, eyes only slit open a tad. The blur is there and gone in a heartbeat, and then a screech is heard. The god awful sound grates on the ears of the captured young man and Sanghyuk's eyes close again as his mouth opens in a silent scream, more water passing into his body.

He can't feel anything and the screams soon die out as the tendrils loosen. He's dimly aware of hands grabbing him before he's being dragged again. This time he doesn’t fight, just lets the arms now around his waist guide him to his inevitable death.

So imagine his surprise when he's suddenly breaking through the surface of the water. He wants to scream in joy, or better yet, take in some much needed air, but he can't. His chest is still tight and as he opens his mouth only water flows out, the stream seemingly never ending in its torment.

The arms around him tighten and he splutters, still not able to breathe, as he's led to the shore where he's carefully placed on the soft grass and sand. And he lays there on his back for a moment before turning to his side as a wave of water is coughed up, lungs burning and throat raw as he coughs and spits out the horrid pond water. It's a few moments before he can breathe again, can feel his lungs expand as he heaves in lungfuls of sweet air.

"Are you okay, kid?" A gruff voice asks, timber low and words spoken slowly, like how one would speak to a child.

Sanghyuk's head snaps up to the see the mysterious man leaning towards him, upper body out of the water as he leans over on his forearms, almost curiously so.

Coughs still wrack his abused body and he feels his arms and ankles burn and throb in protest as he scrambles up and away from the shore as far as he can. The man with the green eyes is still there, staring at Sanghyuk with an unreadable expression, droopy eyes covered in black and green hair that hangs over his forehead in shaggy, damp tendrils. Sanghyuk pants as he scuffles back.

He just wants to go away. He just wants to find Jaehwan and leave. He hears a voice murmuring to him, telling him to stop moving but he doesn’t listen. Will this man want to eat him like that horse—no, that  _ creature _ ?

 

Well he isn’t about to stick around to find out.

He continues to scoot back until he is out of reaching distance for the man, and it's only then Sanghyuk takes in the peculiar ears sticking out of the man's head. They are perfectly human up to the tips, which are fanned out in a few different points and tipped green like his hair. They look like fins. Fins? On a human? Absurd.

So it only prompts Sanghyuk to freak out as he turns to scramble to his feet.

That is, until he runs into something warm and covered in fur. Rearing back, and only barely catching himself with his hands braced against the soft grass, Sanghyuk sees another strange and possibly more terrifying sight. A huge, black feline stands before him, the size of a small bear. Golden eyes blink lazily and a rumble sounds from deep within the creature's chest. It moves to take a step towards Sanghyuk and panic seizes him as cries bubble up from his own chest.

He's going to die. There's no doubt now. A man-eating fish-man- _ thing  _ and a ginormous (and without a doubt) carnivorous beast are going to rip him to shreds and devour him. He wants to cry, feels the sobs roll through his frame as he scrambles to his feet and makes a beeline for the only protection he can find, an old weeping willow that towers over most of the bay, bending over the pond and letting its vines just touch the water.

Not even thinking twice, Sanghyuk grabs onto a low-hanging branch and pulls himself up, no thoughts of cats being able to climb or how the fish-man could probably still get him somehow entering his mind. He just curls up against the trunk of the massive tree and lets the sobs take over, wracking his shivering body.

He cries for what seems like hours, and as the sobs turn to sniffles Sanghyuk catches a soft conversation floating in the wind. He can't make out the words being spoken, but he can tell it's from below him. Peeking down, Sanghyuk sees the fish-man speaking to the large cat, arms flailing and hands twisting as he seems to be arguing about something. Puzzled, the young man peers over to see the beast nod, rumbling as the other speaks, now seeming to be exasperated.

Too engrossed in trying to hear the conversation, Sanghyuk doesn’t notice as something moves up his arms and legs until it's too late. Something constricts around his limbs and he only manages to move enough to see vines wrapping around his limbs before he's immobile.

 

_ Why is this happening to me? _

He struggles but the vines are relentless, tightening as he squirms. The tree beneath him seems to hum and Sanghyuk just whimpers as the vines begin to glow. It's too much for one day. He closes his eyes as the vines begin to heat up, just wanting it to be over with already. He doesn’t care if he's eaten anymore, and he repeatedly apologizes to Jaehwan as he leans back against the trunk and just gives up.

"Hey! Kid!" A voice exclaims from below.

Sanghyuk ignores it.

"Hey! It is extremely rude to ignore your elders!" When Sanghyuk still doesn’t move, grumbling is heard and then splashes before suddenly the limb he's on bends and Sanghyuk looks to see he's now right over the water, still sitting on the limb but now face-to-face with the fish-man, who looks positively peeved.

Green eyes narrow and the fish-man huffs. "As I was telling you before you none so kindly  _ ignored _ me, you need to stop resisting the Willow."

When Sanghyuk only continues to stare at him, the other sighs and swims over until he's leaning against the branch. "Listen, you just need to relax and accept the tree's energy. She's only trying to heal you."

Perplexed, Sanghyuk glances at the vines around his limbs. Trust her? The tree is a she? And this fish-man wants him to trust it?  _ Well, it's not like I have much more to lose. _

Taking a deep breath, Sanghyuk closes his eyes and breathes out, relaxing both his body and mind. Just let the tree in, right? That's all he has to do.

For a moment nothing happens, and Sanghyuk is about ready to give the fish-man a piece of his mind, man-eating or not, but then the tendrils begin to heat up again and he looks down to see the leaves  _ glowing _ . They seem to pulse and Sanghyuk feels pleasant warmth fill his body before the leaves return to their pale green and the vines become slack and slowly retract until they're back to hanging over the pond.

Eyes wide, Sanghyuk stares at where his wounds were. Where once there were haggard cuts and bruises, there's now only pale, smooth skin. Even his ankles are free of the bruises from the creature's grip. Sanghyuk continues to stare in amazement even as the limb he is on moves back until he is carefully placed on the shore's bed once more.

There's whistling and the young man looks up to see the fish-man making his way over, whistling away as his eyes shine with humor. "And you thought she was going to eat you."

That makes Sanghyuk's eyes narrow. Was he  _ challenging _ him? "I did not," he denies.

The fish-man snorts.

"For your information I thought  _ you _ were going to eat me. You and your beastly feline."

The other stares at him for a moment before he laughs, deep voice pleasant and soothing, but Sanghyuk isn't about to tell him that. "Oh, that's so precious. Taekwoon, did you hear that? He thought that  _ we _ were going to eat him!"

The cat makes a rumble that sounds suspiciously like a chuckle and Sanghyuk scowls. He was completely wrong about these creatures. They are just plain annoying.

"Well, now that all that drama is over," the fish-man says, "how about we introduce ourselves properly? I'm Wonsik, and this 'beastly feline' is Taekwoon."

He reaches out a hand and Sanghyuk timidly accepts it, the warm flesh surprising him as he shakes a few times and lets go. "My name is Lor—— . . . I'm Sanghyuk." They didn’t need to know his title. It doesn’t seem like they know him anyways.

Wonsik nods, humming. "Well, Sanghyuk, I can say you gave us a huge fright last night. Imagine my surprise to come across an icicle of a boy stumbling to my pond. Scared me half to death. And then when that Kelpie had you? I for sure thought you were a goner. Nasty creatures keep coming over from that other land . . . Scotland? That’s where they're from, right Taekwoon? I mean, I guess I should know given my father’s from there but still . . . ” Wonsik continues to ramble as Sanghyuk catches on to a certain part. 

"Oh . . . " Suddenly Sanghyuk feels embarrassed. He completely forgot how the other must have saved him. He still remembers the green eyes and warm palm. "Thank you . . . for saving me."

Wonsik coos. "Oh, it was definitely my pleasure! Been awhile since I've seen a body that toned and pale."

Sanghyuk's eyes widen and he blushes as he looks down to quickly realize he's only wearing his own dark brown trousers and a light green blouse that is definitely not his. The material seems to be only tightly woven grass and leaves, but it's soft and comfortable so Sanghyuk doesn’t mind. He does, although, want to know where the hat is.

"Oh, and before you ask, because I know you will since all the humans do, the reason it seemed snowy and probably all ice was because of the Weeping Willow. And if you wish to know more you'll need to ask the expert of the Ness Woods, Hongbin," Wonsik says.

But Sanghyuk doesn’t care about that right now. He just wants the hat.

"Where's my hat?"

Wonsik blinks. "Hat?"

"Yes, hat. The one I had with me."

Wonsik looks confused. "You didn’t have a hat with you, kid."

Now that just makes Sanghyuk angry. Does Wonsik think he is stupid? "Yes, I did have a hat. It's a brown, wool toboggan and I had it clutched in my hand. I would never let it go."

"I'm sorry to say this, but I didn’t see a hat with you when I found you . . . "

He lost the hat. How did he lose something so precious? How  _ could _ he lose something so precious. Sighing, Sanghyuk adds that to the list of things to apologize for when he finds Jaehwan.

Jaehwan.

He wants to ask Wonsik if he know him. But he doesn’t, for some odd reason. Maybe it's because he doesn’t really know him that well. Guess he'll just have to find him himself. 

 

Looking up to the sky, Sanghyuk sees a clear day, no clouds to be seen and sun beaming from above. It's a perfect day.

"Well," Sanghyuk begins as he stands up, brushing down his new clothes. "It was good and all to meet you, but I need to be going now. I'm looking for something."

He makes to walk off but right as he turns he is nudged back until he's back to his previous spot, rubbing his sore bum as he winces and then looks up to scowl at the beastly feline sitting in front of him.

"Now, now, Taekwoon, that wasn’t very nice," Wonsik chides. Then he looks over to Sanghyuk and smiles. "Why don’t you stay for lunch and then leave? We're having fish!"

Seeing as he has no other choice Sanghyuk grumbles and huffs as he plops down next to the pond, Taekwoon coming to lay beside him. And it's then that Sanghyuk notices something moving in the water behind Wonsik. He's about to yell out in warning when a huge fish tail appears and disappears as Wonsik moves closer till he's leaning against the shore. Sanghyuk stutters a bit and then shakes his head. Why should he be surprised? The fish-man is literally half fish.

Sanghyuk can see a shimmer of dark green as the tail flits about lazily, scales shimmering. It almost distracts Sanghyuk from seeing Wonsik begin to eat. Almost.

Mouth opening, two rows of razor sharp fangs appear from previously blunt teeth. The new teeth are blindingly white and look as sharp as the horse's from before. And as Sanghyuk watches, Wonsik brings the fish to his mouth and begins to tears into it. Meat, bone, skin, and all being devoured in mere moments.

Wide-eyed, Sanghyuk stares and feels the blood drain from his face. The beastly cat grumbles and makes another rumbling sound as Wonsik finishes, prompting the green-eyed man to look up only to see a stunned Sanghyuk gaping at him. He seems almost sheepish as he glances away and retracts his teeth, licking at his lips.

"Ah, sorry about that. I forgot about you for a moment. Would you like some?" He offers a fish to Sanghyuk and the young man quickly shakes his head, scooting just a bit farther away.

Wonsik notices, of course, and raises a brow. "What? You're acting like you’ve never heard of a merrow before. Haven't you ever been told of the beautiful woman and ghastly men living in the waters of Ireland, who lure in unsuspecting humans to drag them to their watery graves where they feast on their flesh?"

Sanghyuk can't even shake his head. Mouth open and body stock-still, Sanghyuk feels his bottom lip begin to tremble. And then Wonsik is laughing.

"Oh my gosh, you should have seen your face!" He exclaims through giggles. "It was priceless . . . but in all seriousness, you've never heard of a merrow before?"

Sanghyuk shakes his head minutely. How could he have heard of a merrow when he was never allowed any information other than what was taught to him? It seems his parents didn’t want him to know about much of anything.

Wonsik studies him for a moment before his eyes widen and his head whips around. Then the merrow is splashing water and whining and Sanghyuk looks over to see Taekwoon munching away at the fish, the huge pile now reduced to only a few. He must have taken the opportunity to eat when they were talking.

Sanghyuk manages a smile as he watches Wonsik whine and grumble about "Woonie" eating all the food, splashing his tail for emphasis. 

And when more water is splashed by Wonsik, the feline hisses and then before Sanghyuk's eyes the black fur begins to ripple as well as the patch of white in the cat's chest, a soft glow emitting as the form changes and then a man appears where the cat once was. Black, silky hair is revealed, with a small white patch along the middle, almost in the shape of an oval. And furry cat ears poke out of the silky tendrils. The man is naked as a babe and all Sanghyuk sees are broad shoulders, pale skin, and a silky black tail before he looks up into the same familiar, golden eyes, this time sharp as they look over at Wonsik.

The man is quiet but seethes rage as he flicks sand at Wonsik and sniffs before pushing the other fish toward Wonsik silently.

Wonsik whoops and seems to not notice Sanghyuk as he grabs at the fish. And then Taekwoon flicks more sand and Wonsik grumbles as he peers over to where Taekwoon motions only to see Sanghyuk looking at the fish.

"Oh, would you like one?"

Yet again, a raw fish is offered to Sanghyuk and even though his stomach growls from hunger, it also twists at the thought of eating the fish, let alone it being raw.

So he shakes his head and Wonsik frowns. "You need to eat something, kid."

"I . . . I'm okay . . . do you have anything else? Like some fruit or . . . a fire?"

Realization dawns on Wonsik and he smiles sheepishly. "Ah, keep forgetting the whole human thing." He looks over to Taekwoon and the two share a moment before Wonsik smiles and reaches his arms out to the other.

Taekwoon, although naked, stands and picks up Wonsik. As the merrow is lifted, Sanghyuk sees the other's body completely now. On the sides of Wonsik's chest, right along his ribs, are long slits tinted green and the human part seems to completely end right above his hips, human flesh melding with scales and slowly tinted green until it reaches the tail. A beautiful, shimmering green tail is revealed, gleaming in the sun with all different shades. Overall he is beautiful and Sanghyuk stares as Taekwoon pulls the merrow close against his nude form, long tail lying across one arm as Wonsik is held bridal-style.

The two seem to share a moment as Taekwoon leans his head against Wonsik's and murmurs something. Wonsik smiles and rubs his nose along Taekwoon's cheek, and the moment is so intimate Sanghyuk has to look away, a blush appearing on his face. So that's how close the two were. He had never heard of two men together before, but something blooms in his chest at the thought for some odd reason, a pleasant warmth.

A moment later Wonsik is calling him over and Sanghyuk timidly makes his way to the couple. Wonsik smiles and waves him closer.

He shifts a bit in Taekwoon's hold and sighs once he's comfortable. "Ah, that's better. Now, let's go off to Hongbin's. That faerie can fix up the best grub. Oh, and he can probably help you with what you're looking for. He knows absolutely everything about these Woods."

Sanghyuk nods and watches as Taekwoon turns and starts walking away, the young man scrambling to follow. He lets a small smile cross his face as he thinks of the auburn-haired servant.

Maybe he will find Jaehwan soon, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merrows- Half fish/half human. Irish Mermaids for those who wish to know^^ In Irish folklore the woman are beautiful while the men are ugly and green all over...but that's why Wonsik is special and only shows green for some things like his eyes, parts of his hair, and scales.
> 
> Cat sidhe- I didn't name what Taekwoon was yet, but this is what he is. A cat sidhe is a huge black cat with a white spot on its chest. They are believed to steal the souls of those who do not leave them milk on their doorsteps at night and can turn human as some see them as witches/sorcerers.
> 
> Kelpie- (from Scottish folklore) ghastly shaggy black horse that can turn into a shaggy haired human. These creatures drag their victims to the bottoms of lakes and ponds to devour them at their leisure.


	6. Chapter VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He takes a deep breath and releases it shakily, the action gaining the others' attention as he cautiously chooses his next words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry ahead of time for the short chapter! I really didn't want to spoil what happens next ^^

Taekwoon leads Sanghyuk to a small meadow, the greenest grass he has ever seen filling the area with its long tendrils that flow in the slight breeze. Flowers of all sorts are scattered about in clusters, seeming to grow in larger patches as they reach a house, or what looks like a house. A decent sized mound of grass and ivy are woven in between branches around a door made of twigs and leaves, the whole abode about the size of a decent cabin, with small windows settled on either sides of the door.

They walk up to the—burrow, Sanghyuk just a ways back as his nerves start to jitter, and Wonsik hums as he stretches out a hand to knock on the door, just two quick raps. Not a moment later clattering is heard and then the door is thrown open to reveal one of the most handsome men Sanghyuk has ever seen. The first thing that catches his attention is the mop of soft pink hair that encircles round cheeks indented with dimples as the man smiles, dark brown eyes twinkling as they take in the small group, settling on Sanghyuk just a tad longer than the others.

When the silence stretches on a bit longer than for comfort, Wonsik clears his throat and motions towards his tail which flips a little at the ends. The pink-haired man smiles sheepishly and steps back to let the small group inside. And as Sanghyuk is following Taekwoon inside he notices a fluttering behind the man's back and his eyes widen as almost translucent wings come into view, thick with strands of golden veins acting as support. They look like huge dragonfly wings and Sanghyuk has the sudden urge to touch them.

And the man, well faerie, seems to notice. He smiles at the young man and motions toward his wings. "You can touch them, you know. I don’t mind."

The faerie turns and his wings flutter, the top set letting a small bit of shimmering dust rain to the house's dirt floor. They almost reach the floor in their size and a warmth radiates from them like nothing Sanghyuk has ever experienced. He hesitantly reaches out to stroke the tips of his fingers along the expanse of the surprisingly soft but silky wings and smiles a little as they wiggle a bit under his light touch. The faerie lets out a small giggle and turns back as he shakes his wings.

There's a blush on his cheeks and he grins at Sanghyuk. "Ah, sorry. They're a bit sensitive today."

Sanghyuk, not completely knowing what he means, just nods and breaks eye contact as he follows the path of light footprints that Taekwoon had made. They lead him through what seems to be a living room, simple furniture made of twigs and ivy, all surround a makeshift fireplace, stones lining the inside and just a little bit of the platform before the hearth. There's no fire in it, obviously, as the weather is far too pleasant for such unnecessary heat.

Walking past the living room, Sanghyuk is led to what appears to be the kitchen, shelves upon shelves of jarred herbs and powders surrounding the room, a space much larger than the living room. There are various tables made from stone and thick oak wood that are scattered about, bowls of herbs and flowers covering most of the spaces. And finally, a large table in the corner is surrounded by sturdy wooden chairs, one of which Taekwoon is currently sitting in, still holding Wonsik who is starting to look grumpy.

The merrow's arms are crossed as he gives Sanghyuk a glare, and the young man only has a moment to feel offended over the scornful look until a chuckle is heard behind him and Sanghyuk turns to see the faerie staring at Wonsik, whose gaze only darkens.

"Oh, stop it. I'll get you your tub in just a second. You don’t have to be such a prude," the faerie says, voice deep but also airy, if possible.

"Well I wouldn’t have to be grumpy if you two weren't flirting with each other, Hongbin."

Sanghyuk lets out an indignant squawk and the faerie, who he knows now to be Hongbin, laughs as he walks out of the room, giving Sanghyuk a wink before he disappears. Sanghyuk's cheeks heat up as he makes his way over to the table and plops down in a seat across from Taekwoon, who is now seeming to cradle Wonsik close as he coos at the merrow's scowl. Wonsik grumbles and swats at the hands trying to pinch his cheeks.

"Woonie," he whines. "Stop it."

Taekwoon's lips curve and he leans over to give Wonsik a quick peck on the cheek. The merrow whines again but he doesn’t protest as the other carefully guides his face closer with a crooked finger and presses a sweet kiss on his lips, golden eyes staring deeply into vibrant green ones.

Sanghyuk flushes and focuses on the floor as the golden stare flicks over to meet his gaze during the kiss. It almost seems like a challenge for the young man, and Sanghyuk has no intentions to anger the other. When the pair pull apart, Hongbin is just returning with a huge tub, the monstrosity looking to be made from pure silver as it glimmers in the light that shutters through the house from various windows at the tops of the walls and ceiling.

The faerie grunts as he pushes the tub over beside Taekwoon and huffs as he stops to lean against the side, chest heaving from the overexertion. Taekwoon rolls his eyes at the dramatics and carefully places Wonsik into the tub, back up against a curved side and tail mostly in the tub apart from the very ends, tailfins spanning across the opposite edge in all their green glory.

Wonsik sighs as he gets comfortable and splays his arms out, throwing his head back. "Bathe me, peasants."

Hongbin sticks his tongue out but turns to grab a bucket in the corner of the kitchen, right beside a side-entrance, and then pushes open the door to slip out before returning a few moments later with a bucketful of water, dumping it over the merrow who sinks further in the tub and just relaxes as the water splashes over his form. It takes multiple trips, but soon the tub is full and Wonsik smiles as he runs the water over his torso and the ends of his tail, scales shimmering in the water.

Finally, Hongbin settles back in the house and is just about to sit down when he notices Taekwoon's lack of clothes. And then the faerie goes off. "Hey, what have I told you about coming into my house naked?!"

Taekwoon only huffs and leaves to return clothed much like Hongbin, in tan trousers and a loose, white top, still barefoot. He sits down once again and looks expectantly at Hongbin, who rolls his eyes as he stands. "Would anyone like some tea and bread?"

Taekwoon nods and Wonsik eagerly approves as he splashes about. The faerie grumbles as a bit lands on his feet, but complies and moves to return with four wooden cups of steaming tea and a board of sliced bread with a small jar of green spread beside it. Sanghyuk doesn’t ask what is in the spread or why the tea has small flowers in it, but instead hungrily stuffs slice after slice of the loaf in his mouth as he gulps down the hot tea, the liquid spreading a pleasant warmth through his body. He soon finishes the majority of the plate before he notices the stares.

Embarrassed, Sanghyuk sets down his cup and clears his throat. "Ah, sorry. I was hungry."

He looks towards Hongbin and mumbles a small thank you, and the faerie smiles before leaving to bring back more bread, and a plate of cookies that have Sanghyuk's eyes sparkling.

Hongbin sits down beside Sanghyuk and the boy doesn’t even notice the faerie looking his way until he speaks.

"So, I'm Hongbin and I'm a faerie."

Perplexed, Sanghyuk raises a brow and the other lets out an exasperated sigh before looking at Wonsik expectantly. The merrow grins. "This is Sanghyuk. Human, if you can't tell. He was wandering around last night when I found him. Poor kid almost froze to death. Gave me and Woonie such a scare."

Hongbin hums and looks back at the human, who is now on his sixth cookie. They are wonderful, full of earthy flavors but still somewhat sweet, a rich honey being the most likely reason. Sanghyuk continues to eat and gulp down the floral tea until he remembers something.

He needs to find Jaehwan.

Turning towards the faerie, who is now in a small conversation with Taekwoon, Sanghyuk cautiously taps Hongbin's shoulder. The pink-haired faerie turns back, hair swishing as he moves to reveal long, pointed ears that twitch just a tad. It just proves to make Hongbin more handsome and Sanghyuk finds himself blushing as he tries to find the right words.

"Um, ah—well, can you help me—"

Suddenly a loud slam resounds through the house as the front door is opened.

" _ Bean! _ " A voice exclaims. Hongbin winces at the shrillness and groans as he buries his face in his folded arms on the table, mumbling about having to get a lock soon. Sanghyuk curiously looks on towards the entrance of the kitchen where the voice is becoming closer.

"Bean, Beannie,  _ Hongbin _ ! I know you're here—hah! There you are!" Suddenly a boisterous man skips in, smile wide and dark brown hair ruffled. The man scampers over to give Hongbin a hug that looks deadly as the faerie wheezes and helplessly slaps against the new arrival's shoulder weakly until the latter lets him go, albeit reluctantly.

"Hongbin, why are you ignoring me?" The man questions. And he looks over at the table currently having a plate with only a few cookies left and mostly drunk cups of tea. The man frowns and turns back to Hongbin. "You know those are my favorite cookies and you even made the tea I like! Why didn’t you tell me you were having a get-together?"

Hongbin sighs and shakes off the man as he grabs another batch of cookies and pours another cup of tea. Even though the faerie seems to dislike this man, Sanghyuk notices that Hongbin puts a few extra cookies on the plate and another sprinkle of flowers in the large cup of tea before motioning for the new arrival to sit, which he does immediately.

"I wasn’t planning on having a get-together, Hakyeon. Taekwoon and Wonsik came over with a new friend and I couldn’t not offer them refreshments,” Hongbin says as he sits back down.

"Friend?"

Hongbin motions towards Sanghyuk and the young man gives a small wave to Hakyeon. “This is Sanghyuk.”

Hakyeon, it seems, frowns but his eyes light up at the arrival of the cookies and tea. He's just about to eat when Hongbin's words sink in.

At first Sanghyuk swears he sees a flash of recognition in the hazel gaze that meets his own, but it's soon replaced with twinkling eyes and a warm grin as the other puts a hand out, skin sun-kissed and blemish free.  _ Jeez, why are all these guys so perfect? _

Sanghyuk accepts the handshake and feels a bit of tingles run through his spine as their hands touch for the brief moment they're in contact. It wasn’t a bad feeling, just unusual, and Sanghyuk frowns a little as he looks back at the other, whose gaze is friendly but seemingly guarded.

"I'm Hakyeon. It's a pleasure to meet you." He smiles, teeth all straight and white as can be as Sanghyuk hesitantly smiles back.

"It's nice to meet you, too."

Hakyeon nods and looks over to the others who are munching away, the strange interaction between Sanghyuk and Hakyeon seeming to go unnoticed as Wonsik whines when Taekwoon takes a few of his cookies and stuffs them in his round cheeks, making them even more full. The cat-man, or cat sidhe as Sanghyuk learned on the walk to Hongbin's house, pays his lover no mind as he takes another cookie and leaves a pouting merrow to sulk in his tub. They are cute, Sanghyuk has to admit that.

Sighing, Sanghyuk nibbles some more on his cookies as he watches the others talk and bicker as they munch away. It's weird that no one has asked him yet of why he is in the Ness Woods, or how they aren't pestering him to leave their home. Everyone is just too nice and it makes Sanghyuk kind of uncomfortable, but glad. He loves being able to be treated as just another person, even if he is only seen as normal in a bunch full of mystical creatures. He has to take what he can get, after all.

After everyone finishes eating and Wonsik is in the process of flicking water at Taekwoon, who growls and scoots away, Sanghyuk realizes it's time to spill it.  They all deserve to know why he is here after being so kind to him, much kinder than even his own family.

He takes a deep breath and releases it shakily, the action gaining the others' attention as he cautiously chooses his next words.

And then Sanghyuk spots it.

Sitting on the edge of a table full of papers tied together by twine, is Jaehwan's hat. The brown toboggan is in the same shape it was the last time Sanghyuk saw it, still looking as soft and welcoming as ever.

A noise much like a choked gurgle leaves Sanghyuk and he stands to rush over to the apparel, clasping the hat to his chest tightly as he turns back to the others. Wonsik's eyes are wide and Hongbin's are curious as Hakyeon seems to shut in even more when Sanghyuk presents the hat in question.

The material flops in his shaking hands and Sanghyuk feels his breath quickening as his heart begins to race. This is Jaehwan's hat. And it's in Hongbin's house. That means he could know Jaehwan.

Excited and nervous, Sanghyuk looks at the faerie and opens his mouth before something scurries in the room, right between Sanghyuk's feet. Upon closer inspection, Sanghyuk sees it to be a stoat, the little creature skittering up to Hongbin, its auburn fur glittering in the light that passes through the high windows.

And before Sanghyuk's eyes, the stoat's fur begins to recede, and the body grows in size and changes until a man is standing in the place the stoat once was.

"Ugh, it's too warm to have a winter coat. Stupid fur won't shed like it used too," a very familiar voice says.

Sanghyuk sees the familiar mop of auburn hair and a pair of furry, rounded ears before his vision blurs and his breathing stops altogether. His throat seizes on him as he struggles to breathe and the new arrival seems to finally realize something is wrong because he turns towards the choked noise.

"What's going—”

Jaehwan takes one look at Sanghyuk before he becomes pale, and Sanghyuk only comprehends the presence of his lost friend before everything goes black.


	7. Chapter VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehwan’s face is pale as he takes in just who is standing before him. Sanghyuk looks exactly the same. And he shouldn’t expect anything different given it had only been a couple of days since he had seen the Young Lord, but it felts like ages ago.

Hongbin scrutinizes Jaehwan, the other’s wide ears twitching every now and then under the intense gaze. And Jaehwan avoids all possible eye contact with the faerie as he meticulously picks at every stray thread upon his loose top. It had been thrown, none to gently, at him by Hakyeon as the elder complained over his nudity.

 

He had decided not the mention the multiple incidents that have led to a very naked Hakyeon and dancing. He wishes to keep his hearing, thank you very much. 

 

Wonsik is off to the side, gently threading his fingers through the surface of the tub water, humming some tune that will now be impossible to forget later, and Jaehwan glares at the merrow, shoulders tense, before he deflates. He shouldn’t take his frustrations out on others. It’s not their fault Sanghyuk had followed him. The Young Lord must have become more attached to him than he thought. He knows this, but he isn’t about to admit to it.

 

Sighing, Jaehwan finally moves to face Hongbin fully, the faerie still undoubtedly staring at him, when Taekwoon walks in, ears low against his head and tail swishing slowly. He is ticked, and Jaehwan discreetly pushes back further into the couch he is nestled in. There’s  _ tut _ , and then a palm smacks against the back of Jaehwan’s head, jolting him forwards.    
  


He whips around to see a seemingly innocent Hakyeon smile sweetly before he practically skips off to go sit in the armchair beside the one Hongbin is presently in, a perfect match. The faerie ignores the other as he continues to stare at Jaehwan and he finally snaps. 

 

“ _ What? _ ” Jaehwan questions. 

 

Hongbin narrows his eyes. “‘What’, you say?  _ What _ ?” He’s furious, and Jaehwan settles back a little more, ears folding against his head. “You have led a human, a  _ human  _ into these woods and are not even taking the responsibility to own up to it! The poor thing is passed out on my bed, for christ’s sake!”

 

Jaehwan’s face twists at the mention of Sanghyuk and he growls lightly, causing Hongbin to scowl. It had definitely been a surprise for him to see Sanghyuk in Hongbin’s home. But how was he supposed to know the younger would follow him? It’s not like he can  _ sense _ the human.

 

“Well, excuse me for not knowing the boy would follow me in the first place,” Jaehwan says, voice full of malice. He can’t help it, he’s not exactly happy at the moment. 

 

“And does that also explain why you haven’t even once asked about the boy? Based on the terms, I would assume Sanghyuk came here for the purpose of finding you. And what do you do? You walk out of the room while he is  _ unconscious  _ on the  _ floor _ .”

 

Oh, he remembers it perfectly. 

 

_ Jaehwan’s face is pale as he takes in just who is standing before him.  _

 

_ Sanghyuk looks exactly the same. And he shouldn’t expect anything different given it has only been a couple of days since he had seen the Young Lord, but it feels like ages ago.  _

 

_ He stares at the other, face slack in shock, as Sanghyuk’s eyes widen before rolling back, and Jaehwan only has a moment to suspect what is going to happen before the other is sprawled across the floor, a loud thunk resonating across the room.  _

 

_ Everything is quiet, and Jaehwan holds his breath, too afraid of disrupting the moment, before there is a flurry of movement.  _

 

_ Taekwoon is the first to arrive, making his way to the unconscious boy and gently picking him up. Jaehwan is dimly aware of the lift seeming too easy for someone of that size, knowing full how heavy Sanghyuk is from those nights of hefting the other into his massive bed.  _

 

_ He is aware of the cat sidhe carrying Sanghyuk away, out of the kitchen, and probably to Hongbin’s bedroom. But it doesn’t seem to register. He’s distracted from anything and everything. _

 

_ But when Hakyeon walks over and picks something up from the floor, Jaehwan’s eyes narrow in on the object and he can feel his throat become thick. It’s the toboggan Sanghyuk had given him. The brown hat is the same as when he had thrown it on some grassy patch of moss on the way to Hongbin’s that fateful night. He had not wanted to see the forsaken hat any longer, an unhealthy reminder of his stay at the Han residence.  _

 

_ Much like he had never wanted to see the Young Lord again. _

 

_ Mind still wandering, anything to keep from dealing with the situation at hand, Jaehwan doesn’t respond until a hand is on his shoulder.  _

 

_ He looks over to meet dark brown eyes and baby pink hair.  _

 

_ Hongbin sighs and squeezes Jaehwan’s shoulder.  _

 

_ “We need to talk.” _

 

Back in the present, Hongbin is still giving him that stern look he knows the older hates with a passion. 

 

Snorting, Jaehwan crosses his arms and looks at a space clearly away from the faerie. And that doesn’t sit too well at all with Hongbin. 

 

“You will look at me when I am talking to you, Jaehwan. And I will not take attitude, do you understand that?”

 

Looking back slowly, reluctantly, Jaehwan sees the fire in Hongbin’s eyes, the inferno ready to be unleashed, and shrinks under the intense gaze. The others are also in much of the same states of agitation. He doesn’t understand. Why is everyone so mad at him when he hasn’t  _ done  _ anything?

 

Frankly, it pisses him off.

 

Standing abruptly, Jaehwan strides a few steps forward until he is in front of Hongbin and gives the faerie a fierce glare. His tail is rigid and he can feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand in his annoyance. 

 

“Now you listen here,  _ Hongbin _ .” Hongbin isn’t fazed one bit, and doesn't that just feed fire to Jaehwan’s rage. “I will not be insulted and accused of a matter in which I have had no control over. I did not ask for that boy to come. I did not ask him to leave that castle and run off into the Ness Woods to nearly freeze to death over the sake of finding me. And I do not care that he is here, nor will I ever care. That boy, that  _ human _ , could have frozen for all that it matters to me.”

 

By the end Jaehwan’s chest is heaving and the others are in various states of shock and anger. Wonsik is plain surprised, eyebrows raised and mouth slack, while Taekwoon is glowering at Jaehwan, teeth slightly bared. Hakyeon, who had gotten up not long ago for more tea, is now in the doorway of the kitchen, hands clenched around a kettle. His eyes are dark, but not as dark as the remaining person’s.

 

Hongbin slowly stands, fists clenched and wings shaking with the intensity of his anger, and Jaehwan wants to back down, to sit and obey, but he has had enough of being talked down to today. 

 

Taking calculated steps, Hongbin faces Jaehwan, their chests centimeters apart. It isn’t ideal to be in the presence of an angry faerie, Jaehwan knows this, but he also knows he has to fight for his beliefs. And right now he believes he is right. 

 

So when Hakyeon  _ tuts _ at him one last time, face disappointed, Jaehwan’s livid.

 

Turning towards the elder, Jaehwan points a finger at him. “Don’t you dare, don’t you  _ dare  _ ‘tut’ at me, do you hear?” Jaehwan exclaims. He twists his head back around to face Hongbin.

 

“And  _ you _ . “ Hongbin has the decency to appear mildly offended. “I do not want to hear a peep more from you. I did not ask for Sanghyuk to follow me and I never would! That boy is a menace that I have had to deal with for the past  _ eight  _ years of my life! I have been separated from you, my  _ family _ , because of that boy, and I will not be sorry for not wanting him in my life!” 

 

Finished, Jaehwan’s chest heaves as he takes in lungfuls of breath. There seems to be a pressure in his chest finally released, and he can see the beginnings of guilt forming in Hongbin’s doe eyes.

 

There’s growling, and Jaehwan sees Wonsik glare at him from the side, looking like he is about ready to jump out from his tub and attack Jaehwan. They are still not on good footing, what with them only having met a few days ago along with Taekwoon. He has already known Hakyeon from when he was very young, the older always wherever Hongbin was, much like now. But Wonsik and Taekwoon, those are the two he is still trying to get used to. 

 

And at the moment, with Taekwoon slightly baring his teeth and Wonsik gripping the sides of his tub, Jaehwan wishes he had never met them. They don’t have any right to be in his life, not with them knowing nothing of his past. 

 

He’s about to go off on them, to curse them all, when a noise startles everyone. 

 

There’s a soft thump and then the shrill shattering of glass and they all whip their heads towards the disruption, the entrance of the hallway, where there is currently a broken vase and retreating footsteps echoing. 

 

Sanghyuk.

 

_ Shit, had he heard everything?  _

 

Shaking slightly, Jaehwan can feel something twisting in his gut, deep inside of him, and he doesn’t find the experience appealing in the least. It’s like a beast is churning in his every being. Why does he feel this way? Why is he so affected by what happens to this human? 

 

He doesn’t want to know just as much as he wishes to know everything.

 

Jaehwan feels his legs start to move before his mind catches up. He’s just about to enter the hallway when something solid lands into his side and he’s sent plummeting to the wall, hands splayed out to hold onto something to no avail and he slips to the ground. 

 

~

 

Hakyeon breezes by Jaehwan, the fae seeming to collapse upon the mere brush of their shoulders. But he doesn’t hang around to check on him, not when he can just faintly hear the distinct sound of sobbing from the only room at the end of the hallway; Hongbin’s room.

 

He pushes inside, the door already ajar, and immediately feels his heart throb for the scene before him. 

 

Sanghyuk is curled in the corner of the room, legs folded towards his chest as he sobs into his knees. The sight is heartbreaking and pitiful, and only proves to make Hakyeon furious. How could someone upset such a gentle soul? 

 

Bending down, Hakyeon hesitates before he places a hand on one of Sanghyuk’s arm, hanging loosely by his side. The fingers twitch before they move to grasp onto his own like a lifeline, grip tight and unyielding. But Hakyeon doesn’t mind. He squeezes back and maneuvers until he is sitting beside the young man, one hand still holding Sanghyuk’s and the other slowly stroking through his hair, soft and silky under his touch. And Sanghyuk seems to cry harder, knuckles bleeding white with the force of his grip. 

 

Humming soothing noises, Hakyeon senses more than hears someone slip into the nearly dark room. Taekwoon only takes in the scene before he nods and slips back out. Even though he didn’t express it, Hakyeon could see how concerned the cat sidhe is. His ears were twitching like mad, only small movements, but still noticeable. 

 

It proves just how agitated everyone is, all because of Jaehwan. 

 

He has everyone figured out, except for Jaehwan, that is. The fae had been taken when he was very young, and Hakyeon had only ever been with him whenever Hongbin had decided to go to his cousin’s burrow. Even as a child, Jaehwan had been unpredictable and completely unfiltered with his words. 

 

He is infuriating, and Hakyeon wants to give him a good backhand. 

 

When Sanghyuk’s breathing finally evens out, and Hakyeon’s hand is released, albeit slowly, the older stays as still as he can as Sanghyuk lifts his head, revealing swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks. The younger sniffles as he meets Hakyeon’s worried gaze, eyes widening slightly, probably at the realization of just who is with him.

 

Hakyeon just gives him a tender smile and puts out his hand, which Sanghyuk only stares at for a brief moment before he sets his own upon the offered, Hakyeon immediately linking their fingers together. The feeling is familiar, and Sanghyuk frowns slightly.

 

And then Hakyeon speaks. “It’s okay, Hyukkie. You’ll be okay.”

 

Sanghyuk freezes.  _ Hyukkie _ , he had said. The same nickname Jaehwan had given him not even a few months ago. 

 

Strangely, it doesn’t make him sad. Quite the opposite, actually. He’s furious. 

 

Releasing the warm hand, Sanghyuk stands abruptly, and searches around the room for only a brief moment before he finds the desired object. He scoops it up and practically runs out of the room. He vaguely is aware of how rude it is to just leave Hakyeon behind like that, especially when the elder had comforted him, but he can’t fret over that at the moment. 

 

It doesn’t take too long, and soon he is in the doorway of the hallway. And it’s almost like deja vu. He was just here, about ready to finally see Jaehwan again, when he had heard the awful words spoken of him by the very person he has come to call his first and only friend. And now he is back in the same place, except this time he is absolutely set on getting answers. 

 

His anger is what fuels him and gives him the courage to barge into the living room, his own footsteps almost painfully loud in his ears. He feels nauseous and tired, and maybe even a little sad, but most of all he’s mad. 

 

How could Jaehwan say such words about him? He had never,  _ never  _ harmed him in any way, had even went out of his way to take care of the other any way he could no matter the punishment for him if he were caught. He had given him his heart and trust, set out on a silver platter, and Jaehwan had crushed it and thrown it away like trash.

 

He is  _ not  _ trash. 

 

Entering the living room, Sanghyuk spots Jaehwan and makes his way over, shoulders set and hands clenched. For his part, Jaehwan seems both surprised and a little fearful, sitting back from where he was reaching for a cup of tea.

 

Tea, at a time like this. 

 

He looks a little pale, and Sanghyuk almost pauses, almost asks him what’s wrong before he catches himself and stops in front of the couch, in front of where Jaehwan is sitting. 

 

Apart from the waxy complexion, Jaehwan looks exactly the same. Auburn hair swept back and round ears folded against his head as his pretty eyes look up at Sanghyuk in question, like Sanghyuk is the crazy one. 

 

Growling, Sanghyuk lifts his hand, the one clenching the swept up object, and he promptly throws it at Jaehwan. The soft material of the toboggan just thumps the fae’s shoulder lightly, no physical damage done. But that’s not what he was going for.

 

“Take the hat,” Sanghyuk says, voice shaking with the force of his frustration. He wants to scream, to cry, to be anywhere else. But running is not an option, especially when he has no idea where he is. So he needs to face his problems head on. And right now his problem is Jaehwan.

 

When the older doesn’t make any move to pick the hat up, face carefully blank as he looks down at the toboggan in his lap, Sanghyuk makes a twisted noise in the back of his throat and reaches over to pick up the hat, forcing it into Jaehwan’s hands, their fingers brushing in the process. Jaehwan’s hands are still as soft and strong as ever, with little calluses here and there, and he wants to weep from the memories of those hands running through his hair at night, rubbing his neck whenever he was stressed. 

 

He wants his Jaehwan back. And this is not him. This is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

 

Jaehwan blinks and looks down at the hat, mind processing what has just happened very slowly. And when the situation hits him, his confused gaze hardens and he glares up at Sanghyuk, who is still standing above him, shoulders squared and eyes burning. 

 

Jaehwan stands, the motion fluid, and practically shoves the hat in Sanghyuk’s chest, the younger stumbling back a bit at the force. He keeps forgetting just how strong he really is. 

 

The hat plummets to the ground. Much like Sanghyuk’s hope.

 

“No,” Jaehwan says. Firm. Final.

 

Sanghyuk’s eyes narrow.  _ No _ ? What right does he have to juggle that word around like it means nothing? 

 

What right does he have to refuse everything Sanghyuk has done for him?

 

“Take the hat, Jaehwan,” Sanghyuk murmurs, voice low and silky; dangerous. There’s a new feeling in Sanghyuk’s breast. A new burn and determination that is not a slow warmth like most emotions, but a fierce burn that threatens to overtake him. 

 

He needs Jaehwan to say yes. He  _ has  _ to say yes.  

 

Jaehwan narrows his eyes back at Sanghyuk, jaw set and fingers flexing, like he wants to hit something, hit Sanghyuk. He dares him to do it. 

 

He doesn’t know why, but he wants the fight. He wants a reason to release all of his frustration on Jaehwan. Doesn’t want to regret anything, just act. His palms itch and his legs are buzzing with energy. 

 

And when Jaehwan gives him that snarky glance one more time, that expression that screams refusal, Sanghyuk’s temper snaps. 

 

Hand raising, his fingers curl in towards his palm and he can feel the appendage throbbing in excitement, excitement over the fight. His blood is singing to him, to hit Jaehwan and be done with it all. Be done with everyone, the Ness Woods—his family. 

 

And Jaehwan’s face is priceless. He can tell what Sanghyuk wants to do, anyone can tell. His face is a comical mask of shock and disbelief. And it’s a perfect target.

 

He almost does it, his hand is just there, at the perfect spot to strike, but he stops. 

 

Can he really hit Jaehwan? 

 

. . . The answer is no. 

 

His hand falls, and with it the energy. What once had crackled to life in him is now dwindling down into the background, a tiny buzz that will be easy to ignore. 

 

Gasping, Sanghyuk’s eyes widen. He had almost hit Jaehwan. No matter how terrible he acts now he is still Sanghyuk’s friend in his mind, and you don’t hit your friends. Not for any reason.

 

Hands shaking, Sanghyuk takes a few steps back, the back of his knees hitting a table before he collapses back, still staring into Jaehwan’s eyes, which have hardened by now with the realization of what Sanghyuk had been about to do to him. His back collides with the front of an armchair, and he falls down to the floor in front of it, staring up at Jaehwan.

 

Jaehwan sneers, and Sanghyuk whimpers. “What, couldn’t do it? Maybe your father was right. You are just a weak, pathetic boy.”

 

The words hit him hard, and Sanghyuk clenches his eyes shut, now aware of the others around them, witnessing the scene. They had seen what he had been about to do. They probably think he is awful now. Just like any other human. Just like his father. 

 

Sanghyuk buries his head in his arms as he tries to sink further into the ground. 

  
He just wants everything to go back to the way it was before. He wants everything to be normal and happy again. 


	8. Chapter VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Sanghyuk knows this, knows that he will see Jaehwan again, especially when Hongbin is his cousin. But he doesn’t want to speak to the fae, at least not so soon. Not when his thoughts are still racing around reasons and scenarios of how meeting him will turn out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hasn't been beta-ed at all :( so sorry 
> 
> But the rating has changed cause now there's Wontaek at the end of this chapter *wink wink*

Sanghyuk refuses to eat.

 

No matter what the others do, they cannot convince Sanghyuk to eat a slice of bread, or even a nibble of a biscuit. He just won’t eat. Somehow he is persuaded to drink water every now and then, but that’s all he will allow. 

 

So instead of nourishing himself, he sulks. He remains lying upon the living room floor for a better part of the days, head in the clouds as he takes in all the components of the extravagant ceiling with uncaring eyes, gaze void of its former light. He’s only a shell of the young man the others had met only a few days prior, and it’s really starting to have an impact on everyone’s life.

 

Hongbin takes to his usual tasks of making sure the woods are clear of threats and the balance of everything is as it should be. And for the most part, he leaves Sanghyuk to do as he pleases. The young man doesn’t want to go home, and they all understand why as Sanghyuk had explained to them what had happened for him to have met Jaehwan and followed him this long way. But Jaehwan was also not anywhere to be seen anymore, not after the fight. 

 

And although Sanghyuk is sad about what happened, about losing someone he thought was his one true friend, he is starting to overcome the heartache now as the days pass on and he focuses more on his own problems. Like how he needs to find a home soon, somewhere he won’t be a burden on the others. They have been so nice to him without him deserving even an ounce of the kindness.

 

Now he ponders over everything as he continues to watch the ceiling, noticing the stray insect that buzzes past the expanse of the room every now and then. He wishes he could be like them, not a care in the world except for its own survival. No problems to face such as the loss of a dear friend. He still remembers when Jaehwan would lie beside him on his outrageously large bed at the castle, arms wrapped around Sanghyuk like a protective blanket, holding him tight as he drifted off to sleep each night. And he misses the contact, the warmth that always radiated off the elder’s body as it filled Sanghyuk to the brim with care. 

 

He misses the late night talks they would have, discussing his father’s stupid rules and expectations that Sanghyuk had been forced to follow since he was a young boy. He misses the meals they would share in the early mornings and late at night since Jaehwan had to get up early and work late if he did not want to be punished. 

 

And now that Sanghyuk thinks about it, really contemplates over everything that happened during Jaehwan’s stay, especially when he was appointed as Sanghyuk’s personal servant, he should have seen the signals of the older’s discomfort around everyone, even him. No matter how much he had pestered, Jaehwan had never once told him about his past, his family, or where he was even from. Sanghyuk gets that discussing what Jaehwan is was out of the question, but he never even talked about playing as a child, about running outside with other children or having dinners with his family. Not even simple questions were answered such as his favorite color or book. 

 

Everything was kept closed off and impersonal on Jaehwan’s end. So why hadn’t Sanghyuk seen the clues earlier? Why had he been so blinded by the prospect of an actual friend, someone to talk to and just relax with, when it was so obvious the other had never been comfortable with him; had never even wanted to be around Sanghyuk, much less have the Young Lord call him his friend. Sanghyuk can’t believe he had been so naive as to so easily put his trust in someone who had only shown him kindness due to his duties as a good servant. It makes him sick just thinking about it. 

 

Done with all the tiring thoughts, Sanghyuk lifts himself from the floor and makes his way to the back bedroom; Hongbin’s room. The faerie had said he could use it for as long as he stayed and although Sanghyuk still feels bad when he sees Hongbin dozing on the small couch, he can’t say he isn’t grateful for the soft bed after so many restless nights without any sleep. It also seems that Hongbin had lined the headboard with many dried herbs that soothe Sanghyuk’s thoughts and allow him to drift off, probably the only reason he can even manage a few hours of rest. 

 

So now he climbs onto the bed and wraps himself in the fluffy blankets piled about amongst dozens of pillows stuffed with soft, feathery down. His head hits the layer of pillows below him immediately as he releases a drawn out sigh. It’s comforting to just spend the days lying around the house, but he knows he needs to start searching for a new home soon. For now though, he is content with sleeping the rest of the day away until Hongbin arrives home to cook supper for them—not that he's been eating much lately. 

 

And it’s only when his eyes are just beginning to droop when he sees a familiar hat peeking from the bedside table right in front of him. 

 

Reaching out tentatively, Sanghyuk picks up the toboggan and brings it close to him for inspection. It looks exactly the same as when he had given it to Jaehwan, and the thought makes him sad for a moment. Even if he had not been a true friend, that did not mean Jaehwan had to throw the hat away. Sanghyuk had been the only one nice to him, never yelling at him or using harsh slurs against him. 

 

He’s not angry anymore, at least not as much as he had been the other night when he had fought with Jaehwan. Now he’s just tired. Tired of his naivety, his trusting nature that has come with years of isolation from others. People say innocence is a virtue, but to him it’s a curse that continues to haunt him.

 

And what scares him the most, out of everything that has happened in the past seven months, is how fast he had become angry at Jaehwan. No matter what the older did, no matter what anyone did, Sanghyuk had never felt the need to become violent. Not even when his father had called him the most hateful words that one should never call their children. But he had become angry, infuriated and full of a fire that seemed to grow without a cause. 

 

He can still feel the rage that had become almost tangible in his body, burning in his chest, threatening to boil over. He still remembers the urge, the undying resolve that had settled in him to attack Jaehwan. He had wanted to wrap his hands around that delicate throat; watch those defiant eyes drain of emotion as his face darkened for need of air. 

 

And the thought scares him, truly brings fear into his heart. But what terrifies him the most is that he still thinks he is able to do it. He thinks he can manage to harm Jaehwan, another living being, and feel absolutely no remorse in his soul.  And that, that scares him more than anything in the world.

 

His body is not made for violence, his heart too weak for the sight of death. 

 

So what exactly is happening to him to change him in such a way? Is he becoming his father? Or worse, is he becoming a monster?

 

Thoughts whirling and lips trembling, Sanghyuk brings the hat closer, nuzzling into the soft knitted fabric. It still smells like Jaehwan, and the scent causes his eyes to prickle as he finally drifts off to sleep. 

 

~

 

Hongbin is out when Taekwoon slips inside the faerie’s abode, Wonsik cradled in his arms like always. The cat sidhe’s tail whips lazily as he listens to the welcoming silence. That is until Wonsik whines and starts to squirm in his hold, wanting to be in his tub so he doesn’t dry out. He can already feel his scales beginning to itch as they’re aerated far longer than they should be. 

 

Taekwoon sighs at the younger’s attempts at being cute, droopy eyes looking up endearingly. “I told you we shouldn’t have stopped to gather those cyclamen.”

 

Wonsik pouts and looks down at the small bundle of flowers in his hands. They were too beautiful to pass up, especially since they rarely bloom in the Ness Woods, or in Ireland in general. He had immediately thought they were what Sanghyuk needed to cheer up. And these white ones were especially pretty, almost ethereal as they sit upon their brown stalks. 

 

“But Sanghyukkie needs these. Look, they’re just so pretty!” Wonsik exclaims, and Taekwoon just shakes his head as he continues to walk on in the house. Even though they knew Hongbin wasn’t going to be there, Taekwoon had still slipped on some of the few clothes he owns, just a simple cream blouse and dark, leather slacks. He doesn’t want to make their new addition too uncomfortable after all.

 

Taekwoon spots the tub still in the middle of the living room as they emerge from the hall, and is amused to see a figure already in it, long limbs sprawled across the silver edges. Wonsik squawks indignantly as he also notices someone in his tub and Taekwoon can’t help the way his lips quirk up just the slightest bit. His lover is just too cute at times. 

 

“Hey! You—you fiend! Get out of my tub this instant,” Wonsik calls out, tailfin flipping a bit in his agitation as he squirms even more than before, seemingly trying to lunge at the so-called “fiend”.

 

Taekwoon lets out a small laugh—more like a puff of air—and Wonsik looks at him, mortified. “How can you laugh at a time like this?! Someone is in my tub! My sanctuary away from home—my  _ throne _ !”

 

And during the time the cat sidhe is trying to contain his amusement, Wonsik bouncing slightly from the way his chest shakes, a head pops up from the side of the tub, curious eyes peeking over the side to witness just what the commotion is about. 

 

Familiar brown eyes meet irked emerald ones and Sanghyuk can’t help the tiny giggle that escapes him. The sound is true, not forced in any way, and Wonsik pauses in his tantrum to admire the melodious sound as he watches the young man lift himself up from the silver monstrosity, still clothed in the material Wonsik had lent him the day they met—which is actually just a few of Taekwoon’s clothes, matching the ones the cat sidhe is wearing at the moment perfectly. 

 

Sanghyuk clambers out and faces the pair, humored eyes glinting with mirth as he watches Wonsik whine over the scuff marks he had left from his dirty feet. But it’s not like Sanghyuk can help it when the floor is just dirt. Tidy and well-kept, but still dirt. The merrow shoos him away when the young man tries to help him in the tub when Taekwoon gently lowers him down until he’s comfortable. 

 

But Taekwoon also avoids the tailfin as he carefully situates Wonsik, minding the quirky habit it has to rub against him. He can’t count how many times the fin has “accidently” stroked his backside when he’s too close. Wonsik says he can’t help it, that the tail is too long and he needs to stretch it out frequently, but Taekwoon just suspects it’s an excuse for the merrow to not-so-subtly grope a feel without being scolded. Not that Taekwoon minds the contact, but it starts to become more embarrassing when the incidents keep happening with bystanders around.

 

So when Taekwoon easily slips aside as the tail snakes behind him, Wonsik pouts and huffs as he crosses his arms. He sticks his tongue out at the cat sidhe before turning his nose up as he waits for the water, and Taekwoon rolls his eyes before grabbing one of the buckets to begin to fill up the huge tub. Sanghyuk helps with pouring the water, seeming to be an angel as he gently lets the water cascade over Wonsik, and the merrow sighs—right as a stream of water runs down his face. 

 

Spluttering and spouting out curses that would make a sailor blush, Wonsik splashes around as Sanghyuk laughs. Taekwoon— just coming back from the last trip— sees a sulking merrow and a soaked boy and promptly laughs. An actual laugh that causes his eyes to crinkle and his ears to flop. His lover looks anything but happy, but that is soon resolved as Taekwoon snoops in the kitchen and comes back with cookies Hongbin had no doubt made that morning.

 

“Oh,  _ yes _ . Bring me the cookies, love,” Wonsik says, and Taekwoon scrunches his nose at the endearment but relents, setting the wooden dish beside the tub. 

 

Wonsik munches on them quickly so Taekwoon won’t eat them all, but the older is sly and manages to steal over half the bunch. And once the cookies are gone and Wonsik is content, it’s time to get down to business.

 

They all relax and sit about, Taekwoon in his usual armchair and Sanghyuk taking up the small couch as they watch Wonsik finish up with his exfoliating, dry skin and scales peeling off grossly in Sanghyuk’s opinion (if his disgusted expression gives any indication of his thoughts). To which Wonsik sticks his tongue out at the younger; ever the mature elder.

 

But as Wonsik is leaning over to flick off a stray scale from his hair he notices the small bundle of flowers that he must have dropped when settling in the tub. He quickly leans over further to scoop them up with a small exclamation, a large grin on his face as he turns and presents them to Sanghyuk, who is looking over curiously at Wonsik’s sudden behavior. 

 

Sanghyuk’s eyes zone in on the cyclamen and the small smile that had been playing across his lips for the past hour slowly fades. Wonsik, thinking Sanghyuk doesn’t like the flowers, frowns. “We can choose another color if you’d like. I mean, they come in all shades of violets and blues. But the whites are more rare around these parts and just looked so pure and untainted albeit stubborn where they grew . . . so they reminded me of you.”

 

Words sinking in, Sanghyuk blushes. But the flowers aren’t the reason he’s distressed. It’s the memories they unravel from deep within his thoughts. He can still see the vase of cyclamen resting on his bedside table—and then he can see the mess of the bunch sprawled across the stone floor, petals drenched in dark blood—

 

Sanghyuk shivers at the thoughts and tries to not think of what happened. Instead, he focuses on how Wonsik is explaining the components of the plant in his hand pointing out “neat” facts of its anatomy. It’s such a quirky thing to do—to talk of plants so intensely— and it makes Sanghyuk smile softly. 

 

He’s just about to tell Wonsik this when the front door opens and Hongbin comes in, Hakyeon trailing close behind like a lost puppy. It’s endearing to say in the least, the older pining after the young faerie.  _ But the older what _ , Sanghyuk thinks. Hakyeon must not be human to live in the woods, especially when Hongbin talks of him like he’s hundreds of years old. But what is he exactly?

 

Sighing, Sanghyuk stands up to greet them and accepts the sacks of vegetables and herbs that Hongbin hands him to set on the kitchen counters. He returns quickly to find his spot taken by both Hongbin and Hakyeon, and the older smiles at him sweetly and waves. There’s a glint in his eyes, though, as if he’s checking Sanghyuk over to make sure he’s exactly as he was when he last saw him. 

 

And that reminds him of how Hakyeon had acted when they had met, haughty and cautious, like he was expecting Sanghyuk to pounce at any given moment. There had been undeniable recognition in those dark orbs. He had even called him “Hyukkie,” which wasn’t common with anyone in particular besides Jaehwan, but it had brought on a sense of nostalgia that he can’t seem to shake even now. 

 

Thinking back, Sanghyuk can’t recall having ever met the elder, so how come Hakyeon acts as if they’re old friends? He surely would remember meeting such an exotic man, wouldn’t he?

 

“—Sanghyuk, are you listening?”

 

Shaken from his thoughts, Sanghyuk looks over to see Hongbin staring at him, along with everyone else in the room. Wonsik is snickering and Taekwoon bats him on the back of the head, receiving a whine. But Sanghyuk doesn’t smile at the interaction like he usually would. He’s too troubled with all these conflicting thoughts. 

 

Hongbin speaks again when Sanghyuk doesn’t answer, this time a little more forceful. “Sanghyuk, I  _ said _ did you hear me? We need to talk about Jaehwan.”

 

Hearing the name causes the youngest to shiver, dark thoughts beginning to lurk into his mind. He doesn’t wish to speak about the animal fae. But Hongbin doesn’t seem to understand that. 

 

Seeing that he finally has Sanghyuk’s attention, Hongbin continues. “Now I know there's some bad blood between you two or at least Jaehwan is acting like an immature pup, but I believe you should resolve whatever is happening between the two of you. This conflict is not benefiting anyone in this group and if you’re going to stay in the Ness Woods—stay near  _ us _ , it is regretful to say that you and Jaehwan will undoubtedly meet sooner or later.” 

 

And Sanghyuk knows this, knows that he will see Jaehwan again, especially when Hongbin is his cousin. But he doesn’t want to speak to the fae, at least not so soon. Not when his thoughts are still racing around reasons and scenarios of how meeting him will turn out. 

 

So engrossed in his thoughts, Sanghyuk doesn’t notice Hongbin becoming irked at not being answered properly. The faerie believes in eye contact and open ears when having a conversation, and at the moment Sanghyuk is looking off into the space, in his own little world. 

 

“ _ Sanghyuk _ , as I said before, you need to speak with—”

 

“That’s enough, Hongbin,” Hakyeon says. Everyone turns to him and there’s something in his gaze that makes Sanghyuk feel warm. Then Hakyeon is turning back to the faerie—who looks quite mad at the moment for being interrupted—and gives him a grin and a knowing look. “Don’t you think Sanghyuk has had enough interrogation these past few days? I believe the boy deserves a nice, long break from any worries and a hot cup of tea.” He turns back to Sanghyuk and smiles tenderly. “Does that sound good to you, Sanghyuk?”   
  


Speechless, Sanghyuk only nods. Hongbin looks a bit sheepish, wings fluttering about him as glimmer falls on the couch. And Wonsik and Taekwoon are quiet, but if Taekwoon’s sharp eyes don’t show how he approves of Hakyeon’s words, Sanghyuk doesn’t know what does.

 

There’s a small bout of silence, not so uncomfortable as one would think, and then Hongbin stands up abruptly and swipes down his pants for any stray glimmer, which shakes it on the others in the process—Taekwoon hissing lowly as the shimmering flecks land all over him from where he had moved to sit beside the tub.

 

“Well, I think it’s about time to start dinner. Don’t you think so, Sanghyuk?”

 

“Oh, um, yes. Yes it is,” he says, eyes darting a bit after the sudden change in topic.

 

The two make their way to the kitchen, and Hongbin notices the flowers still in Wonsik’s hands and smiles gleefully as he snatches them to set in a nice wooden vase, various celtic runes carved on the outside. They look beautiful as they spread out in the vase, and Sanghyuk’s eyes linger on them as Hongbin begins to chop up the vegetables and put a pot over a small open flame hovering below a contraption that looks similarly like a metal shelf made from thick bands of iron. They become red hot in no time as water is poured in the pot along with the vegetables and many herbs. And what would usually take hours to cook is done in only half an hour, with fresh bread being brought out of a stone oven by Hongbin just as Hakyeon and Taekwoon are coming in, Wonsik left to complain out in the living room.

 

Sanghyuk, who is making the deserts of sweet seedcake and barmbrack loaves, hums as he places the dough in the oven. They were simple recipes that were hard for anyone to mess up, but it still took days for Hongbin to teach Sanghyuk, who had absolutely no experience with cooking of any kind. And after about ten minutes in the oven, the loaves are cooked and cooling on the countertops. 

 

Hongbin gives Taekwoon a good portion of the food for him and Wonsik, but also warns that he better share with the younger and not eat it all—to which Taekwoon grumbles at a little but reluctantly relents. The couple leaves with a few waves and a loud goodbye from Wonsik as the others watch Taekwoon juggle Wonsik and the food. 

 

And then Sanghyuk, Hakyeon, and Hongbin are digging into the stew and loaves as the older two chat idly over what is happening in the forest, Sanghyuk content with listening as he enjoys the first full meal he’s had in the past week.

 

~

 

The walk to Taekwoon’s home is only a few minutes from Hongbin’s place, but it still is difficult to manage with a heavy merrow and a bag of food weighing one down. Taekwoon struggles to open the door when Wonsik complains that he doesn’t want to touch the knob after seeing a beetle crawl over it, and it’s times like these when the older wonders why he is in love with such a scaredy cat.

 

The trip is quick, just enough time to eat the cooling stew and for Taekwoon to strip off the unnecessary clothes while he is at home so he doesn’t lose them in the lake like the last few times. Wonsik sits in a small pool Taekwoon had made just for him in his house, always full of water from a lower ground well, gobbling down bowls of stew even as he complains about the lack of meat, that Hongbin should learn by now that they’re almost strictly meat-eaters. Taekwoon only rolls his eyes and scoops up some of the water Wonsik is laying in, gulping it to wash down the food.

 

Wonsik scrunches his nose. “Nasty. But if you wanted something to drink—” Wonsik leans over a little towards the cat sidhe, lips an inch from the other’s, “you could’ve just asked.”

 

Taekwoon snorts and pushes Wonsik back in the water. “Pervert.”

 

The merrow laughs, deep timber rumbling through the open space as Taekwoon closes his eyes to just listen for a moment. He has always loved the merrow’s voice, even before he started to like the younger a few years ago, and now it seems even more addicting. He looks at the younger as his laughter dies down, watches his throat bob as he swallows a few times to regain his composure—and feels a heat begin to twist in his stomach.

 

Shaking off any unnecessary thoughts, Taekwoon pulls Wonsik out of the pool and ignores the merrow’s protests as they make their way to the lake as quickly as possible. And when they arrive Taekwoon practically dumps Wonsik in, smiling at the gurgles he receives until Wonsik swims back up and glares at Taekwoon, lifting a hand to show the older his middle finger, smirking as the cat sidhe growls and kicks some sand at him. 

 

Wonsik only giggles and swims back up to the shore to motion for Taekwoon to come closer. At first he refuses, still miffed about being shown such a vulgar hand gesture, but as Wonsik pouts and his lips tremble, his resolve dissolves and he trudges over to squat down. 

 

The merrow leans up to peck him on the mouth, just a quick press of lips, and settles back down as he smiles apologetically. “Ah, sorry for that. But you know I didn’t mean it, Woonie.”

 

Taekwoon sniffs but accepts the apology as he gets comfortable when Wonsik’s expression suddenly becomes serious. “Taek . . . do you think Sanghyuk and Jaehwan will ever speak again?”

 

When Taekwoon doesn’t answer Wonsik continues to ponder. “I mean, there’s obviously bad blood between the two now, but from how Sanghyuk followed his ‘servant’ all the way out here, they had to have been close. I don’t know Jaehwan that well, and I know you know only as much as what the others have told you, but it seems odd that Jaehwan would be so mad that Sanghyuk followed him. The boy is so sweet and clueless about the world. It just . . . it makes me wonder . . . ”

 

Noticing his lover’s distress, Taekwoon reaches out a hand and gently strokes Wonsik’s cheek, the younger’s eyes closing automatically at the motion as he hums. After a few moments Taekwoon goes to place a gentle kiss on the side of Wonsik’s mouth, but the merrow has other ideas. 

 

Quickly grabbing Taekwoon’s shoulders, Wonsik brings him closer as he opens his mouth to deepen the kiss. The cat sidhe mewls but doesn’t protest as he wraps one hand around the small of Wonsik’s back to pull him up so that their bare chests touch, droplets of water beginning to steam from the immense heat that radiates off Taekwoon. 

 

A sudden heat laces through Taekwoon as he lets the arousal take over, and Wonsik hums as he feels the cat sidhe become pliant in his grip. 

 

Pulling away, Wonsik breathes deeply as he looks into Taekwoon’s eyes, cupping his plump cheeks. 

 

“I want you, Taekwoon,” he rasps. “It's been so long . . . ”

 

Taekwoon moans lowly as his ears flatten against his head. The need had been building in him ever since Wonsik had teased him at his house—not to mention they haven’t been able to do anything for almost four months with Hakyeon and Hongbin pestering them to come over with the changing seasons. And since the seasons changed slowly in the woods they had to reluctantly visit the others more often, especially when Hongbin’s long-lost cousin had suddenly dropped in.

 

But now, with everything settling down for the moment and with the others’ attention focused on Sanghyuk, they can finally make time.

 

So Taekwoon groans as he lunges forward once again to catch Wonsik in a deep kiss, mouths opening as tongues meet and curl around each other. Wonsik’s is slippery and warm and Taekwoon’s, slightly rough, catches on the younger’s, both moaning at the sensation. Luckily they’ve done this enough times by now that Wonsik’s retractable teeth don’t unsheathe, and Taekwoon’s blunt canines in his human form prove no problem as their teeth begin to clash and—before Taekwoon knows it—Wonsik has pulled him down into the lake. 

 

Letting out a squeak that he will deny for the rest of his life, Taekwoon tries to push away, but Wonsik is relentless as he groans and wraps his arms around Taekwoon and his tail slips between the older’s thighs to keep him above water so he doesn’t drown. The feeling of the water soaking his well-groomed tail and splashing on his sensitive ears makes Taekwoon whine but the sound is lost as Wonsik swallows every noise the older releases hungrily. 

  
  


And when Wonsik’s tail rubs against his swelling cock, Taekwoon breaks the kiss to gasp in air. “Ah— _ Wonsik _ ,” Taekwoon whines.

 

But Wonsik is affected too, green and black hair a wet mess against his forehead as the gills along the sides of his torso work rapidly, showing just how far gone he is as wild emerald eyes lock with golden ones. And from the gaze Taekwoon can tell what Wonsik desires—something he’d usually be completely against, but this time he doesn’t care as he gives a small nod and Wonsik pulls him back in, his tail immediately rubbing harder against him, making the cat sidhe moan loudly. 

 

With Wonsik distracted by the kiss, Taekwoon takes the chance to reach down and rub against a certain spot at the top of the tail, where his groin would be were he human. A dark spot forms and the skin pulses under Taekwoon’s palm as he continues to rub. Wonsik is a panting mess by the time the tight slit opens and Taekwoon slips his hand inside in an instant, fingers wrapping around the hard, sticky shaft as the length grows still until it’s protruding from his body, out in the open to Taekwoon to see under the only slightly murky water’s surface. 

 

Every time Taekwoon sees his lover’s cock, he’s always a little surprised by the slight green tint covering the taught skin and the sheer size as he wraps a large hand around it and strokes a few times, enough to get Wonsik worked up. The merrow thrusts up into his hand, releasing whines against Taekwoon’s neck as he desperately sucks marks in the pale flesh before him. And Taekwoon feels his own length harden to an almost a painful degree as the tail rubs against the tender organ. 

 

“Oh, fuck—Taekwoon, I need you, I want you right—” Taekwoon twists his hand around the head—“ _ Now _ . Oh, oh  _ fuck _ , Woonie.”

 

The older groans and releases Wonsik, twisting away only to lean against the edge of the shore, soft grass digging into his torso as he grabs on to a few tendrils and pushes his backside out for Wonsik to see. 

 

“Just—Just hurry up, Sikkie.”

 

Wonsik’s eyes widen at the nickname, something Taekwoon rarely calls him, and he quickly makes his way over to take in the tantalizing bottom displayed, pale skin beautiful and unmarked as the pink hole between the muscular globes quivers when Wonsik lays a fingertip against the rim. Taekwoon whines and pushes back some more, wanting to be filled already.

 

Wonsik chuckles. “Shh, Woonie. Wait just a bit more. I have to prepare you first.”

 

Taekwoon growls as his tail whips back to hit Wonsik in the chest lightly in warning, but the merrow just takes the opportunity to grab the appendage and pop the tip in his mouth to give a few quick sucks, making Taekwoon arch and cry out. The older is already so close, and can’t help but thrust his throbbing erection against the silty bay, not caring how dirty it was, how gross.

 

Wonsik, seeing how there wasn’t anything to prepare Taekwoon with—they usually had ointment to use at Taekwoon’s place—dips his fingers into his own slit, right below his pulsing arousal, and gathers a good amount of the slick from his own opening that clenches around his fingers in want. Biting back a moan he pulls out his fingers and places one against Taekwoon’s opening before it sinks in easily enough. And soon he has a second, and then a third finger stretching the entrance wide as Taekwoon squirms and pulls at the ground with desperate hands, small claws coming out to dig into the earth. 

 

And when Wonsik deems him prepared enough he takes his fingers out and replaces it with his length, tailfin swishing lazily as he slowly breaches the older and watches the hole clench and unclench around him, moaning at the sensation and at the cries Taekwoon gives at being filled so deeply; so perfectly. He bottoms out quickly enough as he waits for Taekwoon to adjust. 

 

And as soon as Taekwoon pushes back, clenching around Wonsik as he does so, the merrow grunts and pulls back to push forward just as quickly, tail working as he begins a fast pace from the start. Taekwoon lets out a cry each time Wonsik bottoms out and tries his best to roll back against each thrust until Wonsik is pounding into him, releasing curses as he grabs onto the cat sidhe’s hip with one hand and his reaches around to stroke the older’s length with the other until Taekwoon is a sobbing mess under him, begging for release.

 

“Won——Wonsik please, oh, please—” Taekwoon cries, not even knowing what exactly he’s asking for until Wonsik thrusts faster and strokes him at the same pace, the heat in Taekwoon’s groin burning and intensifying as he feels his testicles tighten and then he releases in the water, clenching around Wonsik until the younger groans and rides out his orgasm inside the elder, biting at a twitching ear in his high as the cat sidhe whines from oversensitivity. 

 

Wonsik comes down from his high and barely manages to pull out as Taekwoon quickly scurries onto the bay, laying back against the soft grass as his chest heaves and his ears lay limp in his hair. The merrow laughs as Taekwoon scrunches his face at the mess between his legs and earns a weak slap to the head. As an apology Wonsik leans over and sweetly pecks Taekwoon’s kiss-swollen mouth. 

 

“Now that is what I call taming the beast—er, cat.”

 

Making a strangled noise, Taekwoon reaches out to possibly choke his young lover as Wonsik laughs and wraps his arms around Taekwoon’s shoulders to nuzzle into his neck. “Sorry, Woonie. Couldn’t resist. You know I love you.”

 

Taekwoon sighs and grumbles as he runs a hand through Wonsik’s wet locks. 

 

“I love you, too. No matter how insufferable you are at times.”

  
Wonsik squawks indignantly as Taekwoon laughs and lays back down to rest. 


	9. Chapter IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And as Jaehwan continues to stare, he watches as the blood runs down the soft petals, staining them dark red wherever the drops make contact. It’s both a beautiful and horrid sight, and Jaehwan suddenly remembers the night he left the castle and, specifically, why he left it.

Jaehwan sighs as he shifts on the mossy log, his tail flopping with his movements. But it is of no use. He is simply just too big to sit on the log now. Too big for his childhood. 

 

Making a noise suspiciously like a whine, Jaehwan decides straddling the log is his best choice, that way his chances of falling are significantly less so than before. But as he stands to turn he sees the full expanse of the fallen tree against the grassy forest bed, immediately bringing back buried memories. 

 

The tree had fallen many years ago, when he was just a young boy. 

 

He still remembers watching as the old—and surprisingly thin—oak tree had shifted and tilted until it had finally tipped over the edge, trunk splintering and breaking as it fell to the ground with a solid thump. Hongbin had been right there with him, watching the whole scene happen. The young faerie at the time had been saddened, large eyes tilted down as he assessed the fallen tree, but then Jaehwan remembers jumping on the trunk and calling it their special hideout. 

 

And that was when Hongbin had eventually laughed and agreed; the log their secret place from then on. Until Jaehwan was taken those few short months later, that is. 

 

Closing his eyes, the stoat fae forcibly represses the memories of that horrible day. Instead he decides to think of Sanghyuk. Or rather, he can’t  _ stop  _ thinking of the Young Lord. Of how soft his black, thick hair is. Or how his boyish smile would always make Jaehwan grin even on the worst days. Or of how Sanghyuk would always give him the best food and then tuck him away beside him in bed and they would just talk for hours and—

 

_ No! _

 

Jaehwan shakes his head vigorously as he tries not to think of those moments. When his chest would fill with a warmth he wasn’t and still isn’t used to and it felt like all of his problems would just disappear in a matter of moments. Or how his thoughts, always whirling and full of doubts and fears, would cease their worry and only focus on the large, warm palm smoothing out the wrinkles that always adorned his features on those particularly bad days. But he soon lets out a deep breath and opens his eyes. 

 

Because he doesn’t want to relish in the past when the present is so twisted. 

 

Looking around for anything to let his mind stray away from dangerous thoughts, Jaehwan soon spots something strangely peculiar. A bush of pure white roses is seemingly wrapped around one end of the moss-covered trunk, just where the tree had broken off. The peculiar thing is not that there are roses in the Ness Woods. Heavens no, there are all sorts of flowers growing in these woods, even some not native to Ireland at all. But no, what is peculiar is that the roses are white. Because white roses only grow where a new life is being formed, and most often a faerie child. 

 

Leaning over, Jaehwan plucks up a rose carefully, trying to be mindful of the sharp thorns that glint in the soft, midday light. 

 

But being who he is, of course he ends up doing exactly the opposite of his intentions. 

 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Jaehwan hisses, snatching his hand back quickly, sliding to the ground as the pain shoots up his arm.

 

He examines his finger to see a neat gash across the pale skin, blood dripping out steadily. Almost mesmerized, Jaehwan watches the thick trail drip off his finger to land on . . . the rose. The white rose lies on the ground between his folded legs, snow-white petals being trickled upon by the drops. And as Jaehwan continues to stare, he watches as the blood runs down the soft petals, staining them dark red wherever the drops make contact. It’s both a beautiful and horrid sight, and Jaehwan suddenly remembers the night he left the castle and, specifically, why he left it. 

 

The blood had been so vivid and dark as it had splattered and dripped all across the broken glass and those white flowers, cyclamen if his memory proves correct. And even though the shock of what had happened has left most of his memory from that night lost deep inside his thoughts, he does remember one thing in particular. 

 

He remembers the overwhelming urge to weep. He remembers the burning sensation that had built in his chest as he had taken in the sight of the blood and all the cuts and gashes adorning the pale skin, ripped open by the glass and bleeding heavily. But it wasn’t the sight of the blood that had shaken him down to the bones. No, it had been because it was  _ Sanghyuk  _ lying there.

 

Sanghyuk, the one who had been so nice and caring, had been left in a motionless heap—all because of him. Because he couldn’t— _ wouldn’t _ open up. Yes, he is still afraid. He won’t admit it, but he is still afraid. Of himself, of what he felt that night, of  _ Sanghyuk _ . 

 

Taking a shaky breath, Jaehwan averts his eyes from the rose lying by his feet, unwounded hand clenching around the other so hard he feels the circulation cutting off quickly. It brings a sharp pain as his finger throbs mercilessly, but it is a pain he relishes in as he continues to abuse his wound until all thoughts of that night are gone from his mind. At least for the moment, that is. 

 

“ _ For heaven’s sake, Hongbin, can you slow down before my heart bursts _ ?”

 

Jaehwan jerks as he hears a voice just a few feet from him, behind a line of shrubbery. And soon enough he spots a figure—no,  _ two  _ figures emerging from behind the large bushes. 

 

Hakyeon is panting as he leans over to brace himself against his knees, chest heaving as he glares up at Hongbin who, as always, is perfectly fine as he swivels his head around until he spots Jaehwan. Then his eyes narrow and he takes quick strides over to where the animal fae is settled back against the trunk, face a mask of indifference. 

 

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, dear cousin?” Jaehwan can tell his voice shakes a bit, but he hopes the others won’t catch on.

 

His hopes are crushed as something in Hakyeon’s eyes flash and Jaehwan gets the unsettling sensation of spiders crawling over his skin at the sight. Leave it to Hakyeon to leave him feeling squeamish as fuck. 

 

“Cut the crap, Jaehwan,” Hongbin practically snaps. And even Jaehwan winces at the sharp tone as Hongbin crouches beside him to meet his eyes. “You know damn well why I am here and I expect answers now or else—”

 

“Or else what?” Jaehwan questions, knowing full well that his snarkiness isn’t going to bode well with his cousin. 

 

It doesn’t. 

 

Hongbin’s eyes swirl for a moment, the usual warm brown orbs changing with twists of red and black. It shows just how pissed Hongbin is and Jaehwan feels himself press just that much further into the mossy bark behind him. The faerie’s eyes follow the movement with ease and Jaehwan swallows thickly, eyes sliding away from the gaze fairly easily. 

 

Suddenly a hand is on Jaehwan’s shoulder, and the stoat fae looks back to see Hakyeon behind him, perched atop the log. His eyes speak volumes as his hand squeezes his shoulder ever so slightly, trying for comfort. 

 

“We really need to speak with you, Jaehwan.”

 

Jaehwan huffs, trying to seem annoyed when in reality his heart is pounding a mile a minute and his mouth feels thick, as if he has been sucking on cotton. But he doesn’t become angry like the others had expected. Instead, his chest deflates and he looks back down at the bloody rose with an almost solemn expression. 

 

“Yeah . . . yeah, we can talk.”

 

Hongbin nods sternly but his eyes soften as he moves to where he is sitting on the ground beside Jaehwan, leaning against the log. 

 

The silence following is not uncomfortable, but it is suffocating as Jaehwan chews on the inside of his cheeks, a nasty habit he has never been able to break. And when it becomes too much he finally speaks. 

 

“How did you know I would be here?” He asks, eyes flitting over to Hongbin who has been staring at him unabashedly for the past few minutes. 

 

“Mmm . . . well it wasn’t that hard to figure out. It’s not like I can forget our secret hiding spot, Jaehwan.” Jaehwan’s head snaps to Hongbin as he finishes, the faerie’s eyes sparkling warmly. And his abrupt action suddenly makes Jaehwan self-conscious as he quickly looks away again, clearing his throat loudly. 

 

“Ah, well, I guess it isn’t much of a secret anymore, now is it? Well, that is if you count Hakyeon as a person.”

 

Hakyeon squawks and Hongbin laughs, causing just the slightest smile to tug at Jaehwan’s mouth. It's almost like old times, just the three of them, laughing and talking nonsense before they were called home by their insistent parents, warnings of hunters being tossed about so they would scurry home. Just like the hunters that had taken Jaehwan those many years ago. Suddenly, Jaehwan doesn’t feel like smiling anymore. 

 

Hongbin seems to notice the change in him, for he speaks his next words lowly, his deep voice filling Jaehwan to the brim.

 

“I never forgot about you, Jaehwan. I never forgot to wait here every evening, expecting to see you running to me from whatever place you had discovered for that day. I waited here every evening until I was forced to go home. And I never stopped until my parents told me what had happened to you. To you and your parents.

 

And . . . we thought you were  _ dead _ , Jaehwan. I thought you were dead. I waited for years and when they told me what actually happened, that the hun——that they had gotten you and your family . . . I cried for days. Not even Hakyeon could make it better.” Hongbin’s voice falters as he looks down, tears streaming down his face. Then he looks back up at Jaehwan who is now watching him intently, and there’s a tidal wave of emotions flowing over the faerie’s tender features, so sincere Jaehwan feels his chest tighten. 

 

“I wanted to die, Jaehwan,” Hongbin whispers, and there’s a sharp intake from both Jaehwan and Hakyeon. Apparently not even Hongbin’s oldest friend had known about this and it makes Jaehwan sad all of a sudden, sad and guilty. Because he should have tried to reach out to his cousin, his best friend since before he can even remember. But he had been so full of sorrow and grief that he hadn’t even tried to get in touch with his family, and now he is paying the price as he watches Hongbin, the strongest of them all, break down before him.

 

“And I almost did it. I almost killed myself . . . but then I met Taekwoon and Wonsik and . . . I started to feel happy again. I didn’t need to grieve over you any longer because I knew you were always there with me; with Hakyeon. And I can’t even begin to explain how ecstatic I was when you burst through my door those few weeks ago. I thought you were a ghost but I was still so happy I could’ve died right then with no regrets. But then you turned out to be real and suddenly everything was perfect. I had my family back and my friends and everything was so good . . . and when Sanghyuk came I was still happy. 

 

I thought I had met a new friend and couldn’t wait to have him meet you because who wouldn’t want to meet a person like you? Even if you have changed you are still you, loud and obnoxious and caring and sweet . . . but I didn’t know. Believe me, I didn’t know Jaehwan. I didn’t know who he was to you and I still don’t but I know there’s something between you two and I just . . . I need you both to have some sort of closure. Because, Jaehwan, Sanghyuk doesn’t have anyone. He thought he had you but he now knows he never did and he’s so alone and it pains me.” Jaehwan winces slightly and flinches as a warm hand clasps his own; Hongbin’s hand.

 

“It pains me to see such an innocent boy crushed beyond repair. He’s struggling with finding himself and where he belongs and I know that no matter what happened between you and him, you can resolve it. Because that boy deserves people who will cherish and love him and I know you can, too. So just . . . please tell me what happened, Jaehwan. I just need to know.”

 

Jaehwan blinks his eyes a few times as he tries to gather his bearings. He can feel the stares of the others and how warm Hongbin’s hand is, still holding his own tightly. And suddenly his throat is too tight as he tries to swallow, failing miserably as a set of coughs wrack his frame and he takes the opportunity to turn away, slipping his hand out from Hongbin’s as he hacks until the fit is over. 

 

His back is still turned even after he finishes and he hears shuffling before the warm hand is back on his shoulder. But now it’s too much. Too much too soon and he is going to suffocate if he doesn’t escape right this instant. 

 

So with a new resolve Jaehwan turns abruptly and flicks the hand away as he smoothes his face into annoyance. 

 

“He didn’t do anything, Hongbin,” Jaehwan practically hisses, and Hongbin’s eyes widen in shock as his hand remains in the air for a few beats before falling back to his side, eyes now filled with hurt.

 

Jaehwan doesn’t want to, but he needs to strike while the wound is still fresh. Hakyeon remains quiet, still sitting on the log, but Jaehwan doesn’t pay him any attention as he turns and stands, ears pressed against his head and tail flicking in what he hopes appears to be agitation and not nervousness. 

 

Still turned, Jaehwan speaks. “He hasn’t done anything wrong besides the fact that he was born from that insolent swine he calls his father. A brute if I ever saw one, and as the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree I do not wish to associate myself with a brat such as Sanghyuk. Not now or ever. Now, if you would so kindly leave. I would prefer to be alone at the moment.”

 

He hopes his voice isn’t betraying how actually feels, skittish and afraid for dear life as he desperately latches on to the only thing he has left, his anger. Because Hongbin doesn’t know this, but he has hit a nerve that Jaehwan never believed could be struck, and it terrifies him to be so vulnerable and open, especially after what had happened to him at that castle, what had been done to him every day and every night—

 

_ No _ , he is not going to think of those memories. Not now. Not when he is so close to breaking. He needs to hold himself together for just a few more moments. Just long enough to stop this interrogation once and for all. 

 

His hands are shaking and he clenches them tightly, hoping to pass it off as anger. And it seems to work as he hears shuffling and then footsteps fading off in the distance. 

 

So when the footsteps can be heard no more, not even when he strains his ears back just to be sure, Jaehwan turns—

 

And comes face to face with Hongbin. Seething and glaring as his wings shake behind him in his anger, glimmer falling in massive clouds from all the energy. The soft breeze picks up until it’s whipping by them, cutting at Jaehwan’s skin and the cut on his finger. 

 

“ _ Why are you like this, Jaehwan? _ ” Hongbin hisses. 

 

Jaehwan pulls himself together and looks into the faerie’s eyes, now fully red and bright as fire as they burn into Jaehwan’s vision. He has never seen Hongbin this mad. Sure, he had tantrums as a child, but he was a  _ child  _ then—not a fully grown faerie. 

 

But now Jaehwan is grown too. He isn’t that weak little stoat pup he once was, and he knows the hardships of the world; knows just how harsh reality is. And he isn’t going to let anyone destroy the wall he so carefully built around himself. 

 

“ _ Why am I like this? _ Are you seriously asking that question, Hongbin?” Jaehwan practically screams. “I lived in that goddamned castle for  _ years _ . I was abused and barely fed and treated lower than shit and I had to protect myself. Sure, I met Sanghyuk and he was nice and all but he is still one of  _ them _ , Hongbin. He is still a fucking human who only cares about power and greed and  _ himself _ ! He will never be my friend and I will never be his for as long as I fucking breathe and you need to get that through that  _ thick  _ skull of yours!”

 

By the end of the rant Jaehwan is panting, gasping in breath as his head fogs up with all the anger and tension built up over the many years. How dare Hongbin ask him to befriend such a creature. How dare Sanghyuk be so  _ nice  _ to him. He wishes the human would have hit him that day. He  _ wants  _ a fight.

 

Hongbin lets out a breath and suddenly the wind dies down as the faerie looks at Jaehwan with a new light in his eyes. And it takes Jaehwan a moment before he can pinpoint what that emotion is. 

 

Hongbin pities him. 

But before he can strike again with his sharp tongue, Hongbin speaks. 

 

“I feel so sorry for you, Jaehwan.” Jaehwan’s mouth snaps closed and his eyes widen as Hongbin shakes his head sadly. 

 

“I thought this was all because of something important. Something worth fighting over. And you’re telling me you hate Sanghyuk because of what he  _ is _ ? He didn’t choose his life or his parents, Jaehwan, and you know this. I’m just . . . I’m disappointed in you, Jaehwan. And I realize now that you are a lost cause.”

 

And with that, Hongbin turns and leaves, feet barely making any noise as he walks away, leaving Jaehwan with a new hole in him; a new emptiness in his chest.

  
Jaehwan chokes on a sob as he turns away, a lone tear dripping off his chin, landing right on the forgotten, bloody rose. 


End file.
